Asklemmy

44144 readers

1081 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

What are some dating mistakes you often see when people try seeking a partner? (kbin.melroy.org)

submitted 16 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

49 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have a few.

One is abbreviation hell. Nobody is going to spend the time trying to decipher what you mean when you use over several abbreviations. It is just better if you'd explain than expecting people to understand aside from commonly used abbreviations that are easy to understand.

Another is overstepping your limits for the sake of getting a partner. Compromising your own standards is perhaps one of the worst things you can do when it comes to trying to find dates. Like you're suddenly okay with dating single parents but you don't like children. You're suddenly okay with dating religious people but you're not religious. Things like that. Because it means you're desperate and you're setting yourself up and setting them up for a bad date.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

That's just being anti-social, usually from anxiety. If it's something you'd like to change, it's probably worth seeing a professional therapist.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

I have seen quite a few of those because people say you're supposed to keep looking if they aren't helping you. I've spoken to maybe 5 different ones at this point. They never have much of substance to say but are very quick to deduct large amounts of money from my bank account. I don't entirely understand what I am supposed to do to get something out of that. Not sure how many more I'm supposed to see or how much more thousands of dollars I'm supposed to spend before someone actually has any ideas of what to do beyond chatting with me and giving basic cookie cutter advice/platitudes.

I've honestly had similar enough chats with ChatGPT for free.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Have you tried a psychologist? They have a lot more experience than a counselor and might have a better chance, but it'll cost more too. Also they can diagnose things which might make getting the right help easier if it's something more than just social anxiety that's getting missed.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Psychologists are better than counselors, but bear in mind there is a ton of variety in the quality of psychologists too.

Also as someone with 3 psychologists in my family, I personally have them stereotyped as greedy, narcissistic opportunists. But again I'm probably biased...