Off My Chest

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I don't want to live anymore (lemmy.ml)

submitted 6 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I really don't feel like existing anymore. I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts for years now. I used to be 50%50 on killing myself. One hand it's such a liberating thought. If I died then it will all be over and all my problems or go away but on the other hand I what if something good happens to me in the future? or what about all the other things I already enjoy?.

Sometimes I think things can get better but other times I think, how? I feel like I wasn't designed for life. Life is a game that I'm losing no matter what. A game didn't even choose to play btw. I feel beat down all I want to get myself a big box of pizza, a bunch of booze and overdose on cocaine.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Twice I've had a plan. Twice life has intervened and prevented me from carrying out that plan (one of those times my daughter told her school counselor "something's wrong with my dad"). You know what, I'm glad I didn't manage to carry out my plans.

Life sometimes sucks, and my brain likes to tell me that I suck. When those two events coincide sometimes it's difficult.

Please don't remove yourself. You never know how you're life will impact others in a positive way.