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are you spiritual? religious? tell me about your practice :3 (beehaw.org)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'd consider myself somewhere between spiritual and maybe kind of pagan, idk

Most of my practice revolves around plants and crystals (no I'm not going to sell you some alternative medicine bullshit, science and spirituality are separate and any mixture doesn't end well) ex catholic so I burrow small aspects from that but tend to avoid it mostly. Been looking into deities lately but haven't integrated any into my primary stuff yet.

Also been doing stuff with a tarot deck lately, that's been fun

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[–] dsilverz 2 points 2 weeks ago

(CW: Long text ahead)

My beliefs are somehow multifaceted and complex to put into words, but the closest label would be "syncretic Luciferian", but I'm not sure what exactly I'm believing and following nowadays, as I've been so distant from spiritual practices that were once a fundamental part of my daily life.

My recent spiritual journey (expand to read)

Back in January 2023, I became a member of a group/sect/initiatory school which, as paradoxical as it sounds, has both Hermetic, Luciferian and Christian concepts, in a syncretic manner.

My participation as a member was going steadily until December 2023, when I was unexpectedly "tunned into" some strong and unknown spiritual influence, beyond the group's concepts. This spiritual force messed with me in an intense manner, when I suddenly became highly sensible to the red color, red candles, cemetery flowers and afrodisiac flowers (such as the flower whose smell is deeply intense, almost poignant at night). I soon managed to identify this spiritual force as being a feminine energy, specifically Lilith. Then I started to search and to know more about Her, finding out how misunderstood She is, how deep is Her story and journey and how She's across several belief systems under many different titles and names. The group I was member didn't really like the fact that I was lighting red candles, because red candles aren't part of the group's ritualistic practices, so I left the group and started my individual, lonely practices of a spirituality centered on the worshipping of Lilith (also because I couldn't find any group/sect/initiatory school that worshipped Lilith AND allowed males, as Lilith is almost always a symbol/archetype to women empowerment which, understandably, doesn't always allow men to participate, even when there's a feminine side/pole within men).

Several months after, I had some life changes (which I'm not going to publicly detail here), part of which involves medication for mental health (depression and anxiety). All these things seem to have distanced myself from Her influence (although I'm not sure who distanced from who: did She went away from me as I was too dependent/focused/obsessed on Her energy and I'm too weird and complex to be dealt with, even by an ancient and powerful Goddess? Or did I unwillingly went away from Her as mundane/physical things started to happen around and within me? Perhaps both things happened simultaneously?) and my spirituality sort of "cooled down", especially the practices I was engaging on.

Few months ago, I tried to delve deeper into the study of Crowley's Thelema, as well as Chaos Magick... but that was all, I haven't really practiced Magick.

Sometimes I feel like I should've attend some "terreiro de Umbanda/Kimbanda" (Umbanda and Kimbanda are two of the main Afro-Brazilian religions, and terreiros is the name of the sacred place from both religions, a place where they engage with their respective sacred spiritual practices, chants and dances, with several similarities as well as several differences between the two religions) which especially focused on the figure of the Pomba-gira (a name for powerful feminine entities within Umbanda and Kimbanda, strongly related to the Lilith's archetype, complementary to Exu, Her masculine homologous archetype often associated with Lucifer/Satan; the Kimbanda's relation with the Pomba-gira is very different from Umbanda, Kimbanda is more reverent towards Exu and Pomba-gira than Umbanda), or even being part of some Satanic initiatory school (I have an inexplicable strong pull on both, especially the dark/shadowy beauty and aesthetics of Satanic rituals, hooded robes, deep and strong chants to Satan; I have never attended either of them yet). Problem is that I'd be a complete stranger to them as I know nobody within Umbanda, Kimbanda or Satanism (I'm kind of a solitary person without friends, it's my personality).