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From chapter 3 of The Will to Change (join the book club!) while she's discussing how mass media reinforces partriarchal norms onto boys and young men
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this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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menby
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A space for masculine folks to talk about living under patriarchy.
Detoxing masculinity since 1990!
You don’t get points for feminism, feminism is expected.
Guidelines:
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- Wisdom over dogma
- Actions over image
Rules (expansions on the guidelines):
- Mistakes should be learning experiences when possible.
- Do not attack comrades displaying vulnerability for what they acknowledge are mistakes.
- If you see good-faith behavior that's toxic, do your best to explain why it's toxic.
- If you don't have the energy to engage, report and move on.
- This includes past mistakes. If you've overcome extreme reactionary behavior, we'd love to know how.
- A widened range of acceptable discussion means a greater need for sensitivity and patience for your comrades.
- Examples:
- "This is reactionary. Here's why."
- "I know that {reality}, but I feel like {toxicity}"
- "I don't understand why this is reactionary, but it feels like it {spoilered details}"
- You are not entitled to the emotional labor of others.
- Constantly info-dumping and letting us sort through your psyche is not healthy for any of us.
- If you feel a criticism of you is unfair, do not lash out.
- If you can't engage self-critically, delete your post.
- If you don't know how to phrase why it's unfair, say so.
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- This includes promoting gender-neutral traits like "courage" or "integrity" as "manly".
- Suggestions for an individual to replace a toxic ideal is fine.
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- This also includes tendency struggle-sessions.
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- Post the picture of your new grill in !food (feminine people like grills too smh my head).
- Post the picture of the fish you caught in !sports (feminine people like fish too smdh my damn head).
- At best, stuff like this is off-topic. At worst, it's reinforcing genders norms..
- If you're not trying to be seen as masculine for your lifestyle content, it's irrelevant to this comm. If you are trying to be seen as masculine, let's have a discussion about why these things are seen as masculine.
Resources:
*The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks
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Lucius Malfoy, noted protagonist
Harry gains a slave elf in like the 5th book or something after he inherits Sirius' stuff
We were talking about Chamber of Secrets, but this doesn't really matter
Oh my bad
It is righteous to know nothing about Harry potter
I didn't read rhe stupid books ok
They were pretty bad. I'm sorry
Ad a kid who looked like book cover Harry potter when they were first getting big, so many adults thought I was trying to look like Harry potter and would tell me I do under the assumption I'd be stoked. I was not, I just had already looked like that and being under 10 years old didn't have too much agency over my appearance anyway. I had glasses cause I needed them and had a really normal haircut. I think I was mostly being contrarian but it also all seemed really childish to me even as a 10 year old. I was really good at reading and was reading the same grocery store crime mystery novels my mom read by then.
You didn't miss much