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"The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love" by bell hooks BOOK CLUB - Preface and Chapter 1 Discussion (hexbear.net)
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Hello comrades, it's time for our first discussion thread for The Will to Change! Please share your thoughts below on the first two sections of the book. There's quite a lot to talk about between hooks' discussion of masculinity discourse within feminist circles, the ways both men and women uphold patriarchy, and the near universal experience of men being forced to suppress their rich emotional worlds from a young age. I'll be posting my thoughts in a little bit after I'm done with work.

If you haven't read the book yet but would like to, its available free on the Internet Archive in text form, as well as an audiobook on Youtube with content warnings at the start of each chapter, courtesy of the Anarchist Audio Library, and as an audiobook on our very own TankieTube! (note: the YT version is missing the Preface but the Tankietube version has it) Let me know if you'd like to be added to the ping list!

Our next discussion will be on Chapters 2 (Understanding Patriarchy) and 3 (Being a Boy), beginning on 12/4.

Thanks to everyone who is or will be participating, I'm really looking forward to hearing everyone's thoughts! feminism

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

i wonder if future chapters (i just finished the second one) will answer my question how to help men who just can not heal in the same way i did, who do not have the quick and radical way out of rejecting all forms of masculinity available to them.

I'm also hoping she goes further into this. I don't actually have a clue what "masculinity" means to me and I can't name a single trait of being "masculine" that's exclusive to men, I just know I hate the macho tough guy bullshit that patriarchy pushes on everyone

[-] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

I don't actually have a clue what "masculinity" means to me and I can't name a single trait of being "masculine" that's exclusive to men, I just know I hate the macho tough guy bullshit that patriarchy pushes on everyone

yeah people point to fred rogers but if positive masculinity is just "being a decent person while masc-coded" then i don't understand what's the point of the masculinity part

[-] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

I think those are important steps or images for some people. Without erasing the vital importance of women's culture throughout history, I reach towards universal values. I don't see Mr. Rodgers as a good man so much as a good person who is a man.

The more you unpack patriarchal or machista values, the less relevant gender becomes.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I think its valuable for good men to try to reclaim masculinity and maledom from the patriarchal assholes. They have always defined maleness as the opposite of femininity with assigning negative traits to femininity. For us who rejected the understanding that femininity is terrible or that masculinity isn't the opposite of femininity we are left the nothing. This is the real struggle to find something to replace toxic masculinity with. We should consider there are multiple right ways to ne a man and masculine instead of a single "correct" way that patriarchy pushes. .

this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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A space for masculine folks to talk about living under patriarchy.

Detoxing masculinity since 1990!

You don’t get points for feminism, feminism is expected.

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  4. Actions over image

Rules (expansions on the guidelines):

  1. Mistakes should be learning experiences when possible.
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Resources:

*The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

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