this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

"I can't, because of my hand. My hand hurts so much. Life sucks because of this hand."

"You should go to a doctor to show your hand"

"No! It won't help anything! And it costs money. And I don't know how to or want to anyway."

I've seen that too, where the person doesn't want to actually even try to help themselves.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Which of course is a symptom.

“My leg is broken” “Then walk to the hospital, duh” “I can’t, my leg is broken” “Why are you choosing to live in pain?!”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Then you carry them to the hospital and they don't want to get treatment but they sure as hell want you to keep carrying them around. Been in that situation and it really sucks.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

"Well you could call a taxi"

"I don't know how to besides it costs money and time..."

"Well fine, I could drive you"

"No I got other stuff to do."

"Just give me a time and I'll do it"

"I don't know when ugh..."

At that point people will just stop trying since it's always the same wall.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But they saw it was a serious matter and tried. The people in the comic haven't even reached that point yet.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It could've happened before this

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Their comments don't make it seem so. Nobody says they've tried to help him, only that he should get over it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

In the real life discussions I never have or heard about the prior times as trying to give advice either

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago

A therapists saying about behaviors like this is "then the suffering isn't big enough yet."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

And when the doctor decides you're an attention seeking malingerer and refuses to help, what then?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 hours ago

Don't stop until you get help.
I'm lucky to have a colleague who identified I was depressed, and had gone through a similar scenario.
Don't stop until you feel you've been heard, until you've been listened to, until you agree with the doctor.
Don't fucking stop

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If it is the first doctor to say that, I'd seek another opinion. If it's the second or third, well maybe...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Let me guess, you're a man? A most likely white, cis and straight, man.

How am I doing?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Kinda creepy to start asking and assuming like that...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ask some of the women in your life about what it's like trying to access healthcare. Ask how often they're listened to by doctors and how much respect is given when they say something is wrong.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

You think it's hard to access healthcare where I live? Why..?

You're making awfully lot of assumptions about other people ngl. Assuming their country is less weird but gender, sexuality, all that gets pretty weird.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

“Brave Men” and “Emotional Women”: A Theory-Guided Literature Review on Gender Bias in Health Care and Gendered Norms towards Patients with Chronic Pain

Analysis: Women’s pain is routinely underestimated, and gender stereotypes are to blame

There are hundreds more papers like this from many different countries.

There are also hundreds of reddit threads about this, with thousands upon thousand of replies from women all over the world, who also attest to it.

And queer men usually have some understanding of intersectional feminism these days, and have likely experienced some form of medical discrimination due to homophobia.

Not to mention folk of colour in predominantly white countries, who also regularly face medical discrimination.

So not believing that women (and female presenting folk) have a harder time accessing the healthcare they need, is yes, a very straight, white, male privileged point of view.

I do admit though that I am just guessing you are white and living in either the US, Canada, Australia, NZ, UK or Western Europe, mostly based on the fediverse demographic.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

It's not great to assume stuff just because someone holds a different view. It'd be like me assuming you are a woman for being emotional and illogical. Not great and can be viewed as insulting, even when you feel it's an informed and fair guess.

It's just better to keep to the facts known and not argue with your assumptions.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Can you point out which bits of what I wrote were emotional and illogical?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

Your whole argument relies on that a medical professionals, plurar, would be more likely to be incorrect about a medical situation than a random hypothetical person based on how the person feels.

If based on that I guessed you would be a woman of course most of the time I'd be right. But voicing such assumptions and going off on that seems like it'd be rude and detrimental to the conversation.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Bruh, I literally gave you peer reviewed scientific studies as sources. Lmao.

Tell me again about how this hurt your feelings and what a mean lady I am for doing it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

The studies don't actually show what you hoping that they show, that is that your run-of-the-mill person was better at knowing what issues they have. If doctor after doctor keeps telling you your issue isn't what you think it is, you might want to consider their words. That's all.

Tell me again about how this hurt your feelings and what a mean lady I am for doing it.

I've just been taught that assuming someone's gender, skin colour and stuff like that is pretty yikes. I don't mind rude though.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

So what I'm seeing here is that you really don't read so good, huh? That's ok, literacy isn't everybody's strong suit. Maybe go ask your mum or sister to explain what I wrote to you, they might have an easier time getting through on your level.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

Not sure if congratulating women or insulting them. Yikes either way for gender based insults. Do better.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 16 hours ago

Lmao, way to go proving you can't read.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Trying to get someone to reframe their perspective in such a aggressive manner helps no one. Everyone has gaps in their experiences so let's assume the best before lashing out

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Can you show me where I'm bring aggressive and lashing out please?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Notice how the "friends" are completely dismissive of the hand? If they actually thought it was cause for concern, that would be an improvement.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We don't know how long this has been going on. If it's been years and years of this, I get it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If encouraging him to see a doctor were something they were doing, the comic would have shown that.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

what is this, the hand again

They do seem to have been through this before.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And it's heavily implied it was brushed off before as well. No "I've tried to help you," but rather "It's not a big deal, get over it."

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well obviously the comic has that as the point, even though very similar situations have people who have tried to help but have been brushed off

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Sure, but that's not this situation. First they have to actually care to get to that point.