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I can't go back to the gym (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Tuesdays are leg days for me. I also like to add abs and core exercises.

I was finishing my deadlifts and proceeded to the yoga room, where the mats and bullshit accessories were, to do abs.

There were two women there already, apparently paying 20 bucks a month to do pushups and lunges.

Whatever, I grab the ab wheel and a yoga mat to rest my knees on while I do abs and I start pumping out a set.

So I'm there, in a relatively small room, with two gorgeous looking women (no hetero) and I'm on top of my sixth rep.

I'm bent over, ab wheel in my hands under me, ass up, like an upside down V, and by the time I feel it, it's already too late.

I fart so hard, I feel my pant leg puff up. I'm bent over, ass in the air, making sounds like a methed up window cleaner.

It was so loud, I knew I couldn't hide it. I still tried though. I made a coughing sound, still in the V position, but it immediately unleashed another fart, anus squeaking like a startled tabby and transitioned into a gurgle.

I don't even look around me to see if they noticed. I can see from my side vision that the women have stopped what they were doing and were just sitting there in judgemental silence. One of them is trying to breathe through her t-shirt.

I slowly stand up and take a quick look at my phone and pretend I have to be somewhere else and just walk out while staring into the ground.

It's over. It's so fucking over.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

the yoga room is for ripping ass. that's why after doing yoga for almost 20 years, the number of times I have gone to a group class is less than 10. the first 20 minutes of every day is blowing snot and ripping ass on the yoga mat.

also, I think entering an occupied room, quickly and repeatedly farting it up, and then leaving is a real power move.

should have said, "I'll be at the smoothie place across the street if either of you are looking for more" on your way out.