this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
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The Thieves Guild punchcard: Get 12 muggings and the 13th converts your mugging to a light burgling at the address of your choice! [*]
[*] You must present your punchcard before physical violence begins. If the address to be burgled is a police station, the next mugging will be upgraded to murder. Management takes 75% of all tips. Do not make Management sad. You wouldn't like Management when it is sad.
Addendum, The establishment known as 'The Bucket' on Gleam street is considered a police station for the purposes of this punch card.
That first bit reads so much like Pratchett
If it's not then props, it reads almost exactly like a line from one of the Night Watch books would
That's exactly what I was going for, but I changed watch house to police station for the non-Discworld enthusiasts.
Success, I'd say. You're really a frood dude who knows where his towel is finger guns
Thanks, but lately I feel more "Oh no, not again"...
It really sounds like something that Mr. Pin and Mr. Tulip heard from a guild member in The Truth, but I can't find the reference exactly.
I hope the thief has his licence ready, otherwise the guild hall is getting a new weather vane.
Where I'm from, we strung 'em up by the bura'zak-ka.