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People that grew up in poor neighborhoods (e.g. in the ghetto/barrio/sticksbackwoods), what behaviors, customs, and beliefs did you change when you moved on up? (lemmy.autism.place)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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Things in poor neighborhoods are done differently than in middle- and upper- class neighborhoods. People that grow up in poor neighborhoods develop behaviors, customs, and beliefs that are different from other neighborhoods because they are part of surviving in the struggle. When they move on up, some of those behaviors, customs, and beliefs are no longer necessary and can even be harmful (e.g. strong reactions to perceived attacks). Others may actually provide an advantage (e.g. living through power outages). Regardless, these changes can cause a sense of estrangement from their childhood and original culture, leading to some resistance. Given all that:

What did you change and what did you keep?

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[–] 23 points 2 years ago* (27 children)

"the sticks" doesn't mean poor, it just means in the countryside (at least in the UK). On the estate(s) would be correct for us.

I didn't grow up particularly poor, but became poor upon moving out of the family home. This led to making do with very limited ingredients, finding bargains, and that has stuck with me ever since. I've saved a lot of money down the years, can live very frugally for a period of time when I really need to, and as such became a homeowner because I knew how to knuckle down and avoid unnecessary expenditure, perhaps to the detriment of my health at times.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (7 children)

    In the US, "estates" sounds vaguely wealthy. For example, a fancy garage sale is an Estate Sale (which kinda implies a rich person died and this is their estate being liquidated.)

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    It's short for council estate. We also have the same connotation if you own an estate, a large parcel of land with a big house or whatever.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    I think your "council estate" is our "section 08," govt provided shitty housing projects?

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Funnily enough the council-built housing in the UK is generally of a very high structural and architectural quality. I am currently sitting in a 100+ years old council property that is still eminently habitable. Only four houses of the 125 that were built here have been demolished. All others are currently inhabited. It all began at the end of WW1:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tudor_Walters_Report

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Well shit, nevermind!

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago

    I know. It’s weird just how good the UK’s social housing was. There was a great belief that the housing estates you built had a direct effect on the people who lived there. Compare that with some of the US’s efforts - that demolished place in St. Louis, O’block in Chicago etc. Different worlds. Eventually the UK government switched to inner city high rises (“streets in the sky”) and social results were… mixed, to say the least. Throw a lot of poor, disenfranchised, non native, non related people in a closed building and, shock horror, negative results were had. Colour me surprised.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 years ago (12 children)

    “the sticks” doesn’t mean poor

    Is there an informal term that would describe poor rural neighborhoods similar to ghetto/barrio?

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago (10 children)

    My friend grew up in the type of neighborhood you're describing and he calls them "backwoods communities"

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (8 children)

    I've never heard this term. We always called them the estate, because usually they were council estates.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (7 children)

    Local terms will surely vary, he's from the US east coast

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (6 children)

    Then why are you replying in this thread about UK terms? Lol

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (5 children)

    ...where did OP ask for UK-specific terms? I didn't say "the estates" was wrong, I answered OP's question in a comment chain that happened to start with a UK terms for poor neighborhoods...

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (4 children)

    The OP asked, in this thread, for the UK term that works. Your reply to that question led them to add another US term thinking that you were providing a UK term.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (3 children)

    Are we reading the same thread? Nowhere in the comments does OP ask for UK-specific terms. OC said "the sticks" doesn't mean poor (agreed) and mentioned what the UK. OP accepts then asks for a better term and I replied with my anecdote.

    "Backwoods" is what my friend calls the poor part of "the sticks" so I believe my reply was relevant

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (2 children)

    We're obviously both interpreting the thread differently and only the OP knows whether they were asking the UK resident for the UK term or whether the OP was asking the UK resident for more US terms.

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  • [+] -16 points 2 years ago (5 children)

    Americans tend to equate "county" with "poor" because they don't have first-hand experience with country people. They might also be confused because ostentatious displays of wealth are considered tacky here in the South.

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  • [–] 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I'm from the rural South and there are plenty of ostentatious displays of wealth. Particularly surrounding how your home looks - decorating for every single holiday for no reason comes to mind.

    Plenty of rural Americans are super poor. It generally takes more money to live in the city so that should make some sense. I grew up rural poor - my family were partially subsistence farmers, cutting our grocery bill.

    To answer the question from OP - I'm not sure I count as properly middle class but I'm definitely more stable than I was growing up, so I'll say my biggest changes are being more conscious of what I look and smell like. When you're poor, everything smells like whatever's on sale. I have kept my tendency to overbuy during sales for anything is shelf stable for long periods of time even if I already have plenty.

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  • [–] [S] 5 points 2 years ago

    When you’re poor, everything smells like whatever’s on sale.

    That's right!! For me, it was like whatever I had that was nice. If someone got me a nice shirt, I would protect that shirt and only wear it to special events that I knew would not place the shirt in any danger (physical activity, stains from cooking or painting, etc.). I kind of still do that and have a few shirts that are ~20 years old, a backpack that is 23 years old, and a multi-tool that's about 21 yrs old. Never though that was associated with growing up poor, but it makes sense now.

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