this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I use rss guard as I xan get it to pull the thumbnails down and their rss discovery is really good. lots of features too.

thanks!!! trying it (update: got it from flathub, what's your bear site setup like? do you add individual threads, or just your inbox?) edit: actually i found the comment view, nice!

I don't talk to many people, I just keep servers for mods on discords but don't really talk anywhere but here.

i feel very special to have so much of your time and energy then, thank you for talking with me :)

I don't have any irl friends bar my wife. lol I barely use anything non open source lol

i am working on figuring out what i want from non-romantic relationships in general, i see my irl friends once every couple of months lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don't actually have rss from hexbear going through it atm, I generally just check hexbear on auto refresh lol

thank you for talking with me :)

You're welcome ^^

i am working on figuring out what i want from non-romantic relationships in general

Yeah it's hard to meet new people, and doubly hard when I don't really need people to validate my existence, I don't want to deal with libs either at this stage, I have had my fill of trying to mingle with them. There's no real motivation other than it would be maybe nice to know other people but then I don't really want to go some places where there's no masking and such with people. I've spent more of my life with nobody too than with anyone to hang out with.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah it's hard to meet new people

yeah, i mostly have made friends at work since i moved away from Big City but that's really not great, most of the people I work with are libs and we're more isolated than ever since everyone basically works from home now (which tbh is really good for me)

I don't want to deal with libs either at this stage, I have had my fill of trying to mingle with them

I can understand that completely. I still have to deal with them for work unfortunately.

There's no real motivation other than it would be maybe nice to know other people but then I don't really want to go some places where there's no masking and such with people.

I feel that way too. I don't really like going "out," especially not since the "end" of the pandemic... a lot of stuff even some of my friends are into is not something i want? TTRPGs not really for me, or playing most online games, I can play board games once a month but the math (and other things) is exhausting, and I feel pressured to people-please so hard (I guess this feeling is the opposite of yours) that I can quickly get burnt out when people want to do things or when one of my friends wants to do a 1am board game, I'm terrible at setting boundaries and being assertive with people that I'm close to (except my partner, of course, he's great).

I want so bad to get to a place where the people around me actually understand my needs and I can interact with them without feeling the need to mask, even if that means different friends. I want to be able to disagree with people when I, well, disagree with them, instead of bending myself to fit the mould of the people around me and avoiding any conflict, and I want friends that can tolerate that, who I can truly Combat Liberalism with, you know? When someone says something that sucks, I want to be able to tell them that it sucked, instead of stewing on it for days until I forget about it.

When I was young, most of my friends were online. I got into coding from an online friend, and immediately took to it. I probably would not be alive today, and I definitely wouldn't be able to have a job, if it weren't for that friend. I only learned what atheism was from the Internet, and what being trans was. I only internalized the "online friends aren't real friends" crap years later and I still struggle with it.

It's so hard to separate myself from the mask. I wonder who I am underneath. Thanks again for listening to me ramble. I think our conversations have helped a lot, I've really enjoyed hearing your perspectives, you are so cool to me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'd only deal with libs if I'm forced to also lol

Yeah I don't think there's much to go to here other than a queer bar and that's not really that appealing. I'm not a people pleaser so that would probably go down like a lead balloon lol but that's how I am and I tell people that I do what I want. I understand it can be harder if you mask and such, but it would be better for you to not have to worry about pleasing people. I know it can be difficult.

It's nice to have a chat and I enjoy the ramble. I don't get a lot of chat so it's been great. Glad the chats have helped. I am but me but thank you for the kind words c:

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah I don't think there's much to go to here other than a queer bar and that's not really that appealing.

yeah i think i'd have a lot of trouble in that kind of environment, similar situation here. there was a board games cafe that i used to go to when i didn't have a house but ... pandemic ... covid ... and it was p. busy so that was a bit of challenge

it would be better for you to not have to worry about pleasing people. I know it can be difficult.

100%, i agree, will see if i can find some resources on this to figure out how to do exactly that

It's nice to have a chat and I enjoy the ramble. I don't get a lot of chat so it's been great. Glad the chats have helped. I am but me but thank you for the kind words c:

cat-trans

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Mhm it's also ran by some xenophobe guy so not really wanting to mingle there lol.

will see if i can find some resources

Good luck I know it isn't easy

cat-trans