this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 132 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

I'm such a man that I've had sex that my penis resembles an angel hair pasta noodle made of veiny leather. I'm such a sex laden stud that I can fuck any crevice now. I've reached peaked masculinity by being able to top any nook or cranny. Behold and be shamed.

[–] [email protected] 73 points 2 weeks ago

The couch beckons, Vance

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'll be impressed when you that down to a subatomic size so you can fuck a solid block of steel because your penis fits in the space between the atoms.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago

Tunnnnghsten baby

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago

Mine can split atoms. Very explosive climax.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Wanna see my downstairs mixup?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I started with a little peen and was still able to pleasure women.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I use mine to scrape crumbs out of my keyboard.