Trans

Sorry, this is gonna be kind of long and rambly. So, I'm transfem and kinda sorta nonbinary (still figuring it out, but putting an x on my driver's license felt the most right to me, when I did that). Been on hrt for a year, my transiversary was this past Sunday in fact, and I am turning 30 this year. Finally got on progesterone, and switched from sublingual estradiol pills to estradiol patches, and they seem fine with no ill effects so far; very exciting. I'm still not out socially (I'm kind of afraid to) so that's kind of a downer, but I'm still way happier than I was before. Consequently, I also don't have makeup or girl clothes. Need to get those too, but it's rather hard, between the dicey financial situation and a home life where I'm not completely sure how risky coming out to my mother will be.

Apperancewise, I'd consider myself a work in progress. I need to lose weight as a top priority for my health and looks, I'm very heavy. And I want bigger boobs (who doesn't?) since my current measurements are a 44c, but while that's apparently more than a lot of girls get in their transitions, they just look so tiny on me, between the chubby gut and the big rib cage. I was hoping I'd get lucky and not need breast augmentation to have a reasonably nice chest, but it's looking like it's gonna need to happen some time.

I also definitely need to visit a salon. I've needed to for like the last 4 years, still haven't been to one since way back at the start of the covid pandemic (goodness gracious, where has the time gone), but despite that, my hair is nice and long and curly, and I wear it in a cute side style, even when boymoding (which admittedly is kinda my only mode when I'm out of the house at this time). Honestly, it just kinda fits me too well, and thats like my biggest source of euphoria right now. It's just a tad scruffy, but otherwise so close to exactly how I want it to be. I need to dye it red some time, too. I have a thing for dyed red hair... Literally every customizable girl character in every video game I've ever played, I've always gone with red hair and this same sort of hairstyle, even before I knew I was trans. As if it's written into my very soul!

But anyway, I also have some self conscious feelings about my face. You know, the common stuff like dysphoria about the stupid brow ridge, etc etc. So I'm thinking maybe facial feminization is something I'll need to seek out some day too, but I am also trying to just get used to loving myself without needing surgery. I already got over my high cheekbones! But hair removal, gosh that really can't come soon enough. Please delete every last one of these awful hairs from my chin and upper lip! I really gotta find a place for laser hair removal, and hopefully be able to afford it.

I'll spare any additional rambling, I've said a lot as it is. I think my transition is going decently, like I could improve in a lot of ways, including actually coming out and socially transitioning some day, as I said earlier, but nevertheless I'm pretty happy with the progress I've made since a year ago. We all go at our own pace, right?