this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
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You have all the powers that Putin currently does. Everyone completely loyal to Putin is now loyal to you. Enemies of Putin are enemies of you. Putin no longer exists, and there has been a clean and absolute transfer of power to you. The economic, military, social and political situations are the same as they now are. You are not inhabiting Putin's body, you are just you. You're magically transferred to the Kremlin. The world at large doesn't know your past life, to them you have magically appeared as the new ruler. To everyone who knew you before, you just vanished.

Edit: no one knows your past life YET. They'll quickly figure it out. You will not lose any support based on your actions in your past life.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 months ago (4 children)

two chicks at the same time

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"That's it? If you were in charge of Russia, you'd do two chicks at the same time?"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a dictator I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with countries.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Not all women are interested in power.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I bet at least two of them are!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's like running away from an octopus. You don't have to be faster than the octopus, you just have to be faster than the guy standing next to you.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

For an octopus you would have to be faster than 8 other people near you

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think it says a lot about the people on the interwebs that we started out talking about a ménage à trois and veered into racing against killer octopuses.

And yes, it's octopuses, not 'octopi'

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

You've just aptly described why this is the best part of the Internet.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't think you'd have to worry about running away from an octopus at all...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

D'uh. Everyone knows that octopuses are sea creatures and can't run on land.

The octopus has a motorcycle.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

That's a funny name for an octopus.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Oh then we're fine. It will stop to tell us all about bike and we can just be faster than the slowest person again. 👌

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No but the kind of chicks who’d double up on a guy like me do.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Finally! Where've you been all day?! I thought that would be instant!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I know! Those 3 line are god damn masterpiece in screenwriting. I guess I just got lucky

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

The kinda chicks who would double up on a guy like me are