this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 125 points 2 months ago (3 children)

If you see a toilet in your dreams, don't use it!

[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Can't confirm. I've had lucid dreams, where I'm aware that it's a dream, but not in control.

Then I started just pissing everywhere. And I could feel my sweatpants getting soaked. And then I shit myself. And in the dream I'm panicing because I know it's happening in real life. I'm very aware that when I wake up my sweatpants will be piss soaked, and I have shat myself. I can FEEL it happening as it happens. Then I wake up. No shit. No piss. Totally dry, and I IMMEDIATELY need to get to a bathroom. Where I shit and piss in the toilet.

And then I stand up, and there's no shit or piss in the toilet. And I'm like "WTF??? Am I just groggy? What the hell is happening???"

Then the toilet starts talking. "FEED ME YOUR TASTY POOPS!!!" And I'm like what the fuck is going on? Am I on drugs???" And this toilet is getting angry that I won't shit in it's mouth. Then it starts stomping around like the piano from Super Mario 64.

Then I wake up, and IMMEDIATELY need to piss and shit. So I run to the toilet, and yell at the toilet "ARE YOU GOING TO DEMAND I SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH??? I KNOW YOUR TRICKS, TOILET!!!"

And thats when I hear my neighbors laughing, because the walls are thin, it's 3AM, and they now think I'm crazy.

This has happened several times. I hope I never meet my neighbors.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Cool story, bro.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Weed will reduce your dreams, which could be good or bad in your situation.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This made me laugh so much 😂

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I was mostly wtf, but I will admit I did laugh.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What about if there's a fire, can I use the hose to put it out?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It probably wouldn't even put the fire out.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Watch "Strange Brew" and let me know if you change your mind on that.

Awesome Canadian movie.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

When that was first said, what came to mind was actually Gulliver's Travels with Jack Black. Fires are typically not even weak to a firefighting hose, that's why those firefighting games at Chuck E. Cheese are so hard. Firefighting is actually more difficult than that.