It’s like attractiveness, lifestyle and personality don’t matter when it comes to attracting mates.

I know a few people who are on the dating apps constantly, bring home lots of different people, and then are right back out on the apps again the next week. But they don't find anyone committed, because they're... always just swiping away looking for the next hook-up.

I also know a few friends who were married back in high school / college, got divorced in their late 20s/early 30s, dated around for a couple of years, and then got married again in short order. They were laser-focused on looking for a permanent partner and found them.

Then I know a few friends who are chronically single because they do not know when people are hitting on them. Like, utterly blind to it. You can have a girl sit down square in the guy's lap and start playing with his hair and he will NOT GET THE CLUE. Its baffling.

A lot of it is about practice and recognizing social queues. A lot of it is knowing where to go to meet people. A lot of it is having a broad appetite - I know people who are simply terrified to talk to anyone of the wrong ethnicity or demographic, and that definitely hurts their prospects. I know people who are just incredibly picky, full stop, and won't return calls or engage with anyone romantically because they're always finding something they don't like.

Attractiveness is only a piece of the puzzle. Lifestyle and personality are a big part of it, but not in the way you might immediately guess. Sometimes just showing up and having a conversation with new people is enough to get you laid, dating, and married.