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You ever had a crush on someone back in the day, see them now and go "what was I thinking"? (hexbear.net)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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This happens to me when I rarely open up Facebook. I'd see someone I was obsessing over in the 10s, and now I just wonder what I was ever feeling with them. It's not like something happened and they're massively different, they're more or less the same. Really the world changed a lot and I'm not the LIB I used to be.

I'm not dating anyone new now. But if I had to judge someone as hot, they would have many of the following characteristics:

left of some soft (Marxist, Anarchist, hell I'll date a decent socdem)
mask wearing
vegan
high empathy, worry about the suffering of others
reader
actively organising something in their community

To be honest, I had a pretty basic taste in dates back in the day. If anything, this should be a self-crit.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Love is Irrational: The last thing I want to acknowledge is that I'm wholeheartedly aware that love is hella irrational. I often develop pretty intense feelings for people who do not check even 3 of these boxes, let alone all 5. It creates a very rough battleground in my heart and mind, but ultimately I tend to let rationality lead the way with this stuff regardless, especially with what happened with my former partner. I literally have avoided pursuing relationships with people I was into simply because of the fact that I enforce this stuff very harshly.

Ahh the magic of stated vs revealed preferences. It's why I don't take a lot of dating advice seriously, people, including myself, don't actually know what they want until they get it. To be honest I'd date a "lib" with their heart in the right place over a self righteous leftist 100 times out of 100.