this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2024
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[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If this stage in life is not conducive to a relationship, or is pleasant enough without one, then you're under no obligation to have one, regardless of the opinions of family and friends. I have a lot of regrets over how little time of my younger life I've really lived for me.

Otherwise, I think the important thing is to find someone who wants the same as you, no matter what that is. If you're a "meet in the middle," compromising person then it's important that the person you're with also has those qualities, or you'll find you're always the one having to be flexible, and may end up feeling taken advantage of. If you're an individualist who wants to have a lot of independence and "room to move" within a relationship, and can't bear the thought of "living in someone else's pockets" then it's vital to live true to that while that's how your life is. A couple of friends of mine are very career forward people, spend a lot of time separate from each other due to the demands of their careers, but undeniably love and respect each other and aren't clingy. It's perfect for them. How do you know how it's going to be with someone? You don't always, or you think you know people but then they change, or you find out things you didn't know. The arrival of children can complicate things that before seemed much simpler and more straightforward.