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this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
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I (F) have always played video games (started with the NES and AD&D games on PC) because my dad had bought them for my brother, and they were fun. Nearly all of my female friends in junior high played N64 games along with our male friends, but now having friends in my upper 30s, very few of them play video games unless they're on mobile. And even if they do play mobile games, it's not Stardew Valley. It's the shitty ones that come pre-installed or they found through ads on Facebook. There are a few from my junior high nerd bubble that I'm sure still play, but I keep it on the DL at work because everyone is mostly frustrated with their husbands and kids and how much time they sink into games. They're judgy about it. I've started occasionally admitting I play games, but feel like I have to say we play them as a family, and relate it to board games.
The article surprises me. Although my daughter had tons of friends to play with online during the pandemic, so maybe it's more zoomers and 20-somethings?
I get the productivity shame as well. Like if I mention a game I play, then someone is piping up with a fence they fixed or something etc etc.
It seems like you're getting your femininity attacked as well which seems so strange. I just thought we would've learned by now. Like in our generation (looks like we started at the same time) I was teased (to say the least) a lot for my "nerdy" interests but now it's like most of it is vogue. It's dumb that we would repeat that with a specific gender.
I don't know if it's of any use but the majority of my lady friends game. Thru mostly also tend to be quiet about it unless nudged. That is to say that you're not weird, just awesome.
Your comment is so kind! Thank you!!! And you're right, I've never really thought about it like that, but it DOES feel like my femininity is attacked! It's easy to wave off the incel "tHeRe ArE nO wOmEn On ThE iNtErNeT" comments that I don't come across as much anymore, but from people I know face-to-face, it gets to me. At least enough to avoid the topic. I'm sure there are a lot of women like me all hiding that we play video games!
It's not fair that you're getting the productivity shame either. The people who do that are usually the same people that are like, "Have you seen the latest 5 different series that have dropped on Netflix? I watched them all last weekend."
Oh well. I feel like it'll only get more socially acceptable to spend our free time however we want! It can only go up from here!
I think it might be that women with kids are often overwhelmed with looking after everyone, the idea of sitting and investing time in a console or computer game is just not part of what they feel they have time for. Mobile games are a bit easier to just put down when needed. That said I’m in my 40s, no kids and gaming all my life. I tend to play single player, replaying BotW at the moment and trying to 100% it. I have a lot of other women friends who play as well, but they do all tend to not be moms.