this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2024
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I was really worried that they would tell me I wasn't autistic. I stressed out about it for over a month straight. Like, I would complete online autism scales to confirm "that I was still autistic". Once at the assessment, I remember thinking that there was a moment when the psychologist had already made a clinical decision as if the conclusion was that evident early on in the process.

Fast forward to today, and yeah...there is no way I would have passed as not autistic. I wouldn't be able to pass as not autistic if I was trained by a team of psychologists on how to look not autistic at that assessment. It's so obvious lol. I seriously thought that I would inadvertently mask the entire way my brain works to a specialist using a thoroughly vetted exam. How funny! All that stress was for nothing.

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[–] DakRalter 1 points 5 months ago

I'm making a second attempt at getting an assessment and I have the same worry. I feel like I'm in this weird space where I'm too autistic to be NT, but too NT to be autistic. Coupled with also having schizoid symptoms.