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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
Something I've seriously considered is how you can just add a hose and nozzle "bum gun" to your existing toilet water supply valve and you just need to affix a little mount for it on the wall. Hardware stores have kits for this that aren't particularly expensive.
It's definitely much cheaper than a whole porcelain piece of furniture or one of those fancy seats that probably wants access to your Wi-Fi and an account subscription. XD
I noticed my in-laws had these things while we were house sitting for them, and dared to try it out. Weird at first, but(t) AMAZING.