this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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Memes

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[โ€“] [email protected] 67 points 6 months ago (5 children)

The second verse of "Weird Al" Yankovic's song, Headline News, is about these two.

Once there was this girl who Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion And when she finally made it She saw some other girl who was better And so she hired some guy to Club her in the knee cap

[โ€“] [email protected] 54 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Our society would be far better if we, as a whole, quoted Weird Al more often.

[โ€“] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that The relative position of the planets and the stars Could have a special deep significance or meaning That exclusively applies to only you But, let me give you my assurance that These forecasts and predictions are all based on Solid, scientific, documented evidence So you would have to be some kind of moron Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true Where was I?

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

God damn I can't not hear it

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

sigh would you look at all that stuff...

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Took me several tries back in the day to sing that all in one breath, but damn it, I was determined.

https://youtu.be/ZqUDguy4870?si=RbQRq-kF6N0S-AYd

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/ZqUDguy4870?si=RbQRq-kF6N0S-AYd

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Warrior!

You might incredible strength, and you can probably pwn somebody's face.

But you are worthless without a priest, you are destined to raid for all your life.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out

And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside

And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died

Except for me

You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up

And my seat back in the full upright position

Had my tray table up

And my seat back in the full upright position

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Wow that music video sure is something. Thanks for that one

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Wait, the events are real? ๐Ÿคฏ

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Yep, huge deal in the mid-90โ€™s. Living through the 90โ€™s was a wild ride for so many different reasons.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmmmm....

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Hired some guy to do what

Edit: oh like in that movie