this post was submitted on 11 May 2024
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Me. I said war crimes. Collective punishment is a war crime. You cannot hold people to account on the basis of group membership.
If you want to make a sensible statement, try "You should be ashamed if you don't distance yourself from misogynists". In that case you say someone should be ashamed for their own actions (or inaction), not for something some amorphous group did. Also changing the general "men" to "your peers" is peak goalpost moving.
I dont know what you think my goal is, clearly you're better at phrasing, so if we go with "You should be ashamed if you don't distance yourself from misogynists", where is our disagreement?
You think I shouldnt be ashamed of the friends I once had? Because I certainly am. You should be ashamed of people who break social contract, because that is explicitly what that would entail.
Given that you said "once had" not "still have", no I don't think you should be ashamed. Having broken with them, having learned, what blame is there that could be laid on you?
Because I was once naïve to who they are now, and perhaps being younger at the time I could have, maybe, been a more potent guiding voice to a couple guys in specific, and only later did I learn what they had committed when I was still associated. And if that shame is a way I can guarantee my merrits, then I can live with it.
Is that shame necessary to guarantee your merits, though?
If you can still learn from it, then it still has a purpose. If everything is learned, then it doesn't, and it is only hindering you. That call will be up to you, your understanding of the circumstances, and your conscience, but one thing is for sure: It makes no sense to worry about things that are outside of your control, and your past is very much among the things not in your control. So don't fret about letting it be nothing to you.