this post was submitted on 08 May 2024
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@RustyRaven yeah i'm the youngest daughter but I don't get along with my mother and never have and now I live 3,000 miles away with my own life.
My cousin was the youngest 'daughter' in airquote because she was adopted for this task in mind. Also there was no family home. They were renting, in Tahoe which is super expensive.
My neighbor did this and she did get the family home but i'm pretty sure her brothers still have say in the matter even tho they didn't do any work.
It seems to be common for people to leave the family home to all the children jointly and just give the carer the right to live there. If that is the case it can often lead to a situation where the other siblings resent paying a share of the costs of a home they can't get any benefit from and maintenance is neglected. Even if it is inherited in full it can leave the carer unable to fully support themselves if they did not get a chance to establish themselves and save money independently first, again leaving them dependent on the good will of other family members to help them.
Putting people into residential care or paying for home care is hugely expensive, it's sad that so many people who are carers for family are not valued at even a fraction of what a paid carer would receive and are instead pushed into poverty. We are lucky in Australia that we at least have a carer's pension available to help (and unemployment benefits if you stop caring), even if it is less than minimum wage. It sounds like some of the people in USA have literally nothing and are completely dependent on the person they are caring for. No matter how horrible a position they are in they can't stop without becoming homeless.
@RustyRaven we do have Society Security but this only works if you have a paying job that tracks your hours. And I've heard of programs attempting to address all these issues. In WA State there's a 'home health' program where these family members can take a certification course and get paid minimum wage for doing the work they are already doing for free. And they get basic training on first aid & elder care.
The US is really 50+ different countries in some ways ( as the name itself implies).
I used to think USA states were similar to Australia's, but once I learned more I realised it's a lot closer to Europe and the states are a lot more like separate countries. Different towns and regions within the states also seem to be a lot more distinct and seem to be closer to what our states are.
Minimum wage for carers is a good thing, as is the training. The carer's pension here is a bit less than minimum wage (although once you add in a few bonuses and extra assistance if you are renting it gets pretty close). I haven't seen any training even available for elder care (outside of courses for people seeking actual employment).