LGBTQ+

I identify as non-binary and agender. In ways I resonate a lot with what Devon and you all have written in this thread, but figured I'd share a few words about my own experience. The closest thing I've found to gender euphoria (I don't experience gender-specific feelings but this describes a positive experience that involves gender expression and the perception of gender by others) comes through the lens of transgressing gendered norms. In particular, I get a lot of delight out of causing confusion in others and making people reconsider what they think they know about gender. For example, one time at a party a person used she/her to refer to me and I simply replied "I'm not a girl". Their response was to apologize and use he/him on me, to which I replied "I'm not a boy". This poor confused soul then asked "well what are you then?" to which I replied in as upbeat and cute as I could muster "I'm a bunny!" I truly wish I had my phone at the ready to record the very visible thought process on this poor lad's face as my words both disarmed and confused him. It is one of my most cherished memories.

I enjoy the experience of being difficult to put into boxes and there is no strong compelling force for me to align with all the gender expectations of the gender I'm presenting as. In fact, I often find myself adapting how I act as a direct response to how I am perceived. For example I tend to move my vocal inflection in the opposite direction of perception - upwards if people are reading me as a man and downwards if they're reading me as a woman not because I want to fit into a third box but because I want people to question where the box starts and ends. Liberation from the boxes that we are placed in brings me joy, and I think it's perfectly reasonable for anyone to lay claim to an identity as a gender non-conforming binary gendered person, or even have an internal identity that's a reflection of the external perception and pressures that brings.

Tagging @[email protected] and @[email protected] because they might also like to see this