this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2024
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I live in Canada. My girlfriend is Chinese (also living in Canada), and while we are able to communicate via SMS, her mobile carrier isn't the best, and so there have often been issues for us with regular texting. She expressed a strong preference to use WeChat, at least as a backup option for when texting fails us. While I have some pretty significant reservations, it's not the hill I want to die on. So my question is: what can be done to use WeChat without compromising my whole phone? I'm okay with it if our conversations aren't private, but I'd like to know that I'm not giving unfettered access to all of my phone's systems and data to the CCP. What can be done to limit the reach of this ubiquitous app on my device?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (2 children)

If your willing to throw your multi-year relationship away over... software preferences, are you actually interested in the relationship at all?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

We've only been dating for about 6 months, but I agree with the sentiment of what you're saying. In any case, we care for each other a lot and want to see the relationship last a long time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

In my experience, people tend to grow closer together throughout the course of a healthy relationship. While you may need to make these kinds of compromises at 6 months in the "dating" phase, it's entirely possible that she will move closer to your position in the future as a result of spending so much time with you.

What this other person replying to you fails to understand about relationships is that most of the time you don't start off as a perfect match for your partner. There is some spark or connection but also a lot of differences because you are two single people initially. You have to transition into becoming a couple with that deeper connection and that does require pragmatism and a willingness to see the world as others do.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's not at all software preferences. It's not that I would tell "matrix or I don't want to see you again", it's "switch from that chinese spy tool or we better break up", as there will be a lot of other things we won't be able to agree on. Facebook is not even that bad as wechat.

See? It's not "software preferences". It's differences in personal values as big as a chasm. It's that I value my privacy, and am not willing to give it up, at least absolutely not that much of it. If our values are so very different, that's a good sign that you shouldn't ignore.

And then, I'm not sure where you read about a multi-year relationship. I don't think such a question as OP's would pop up after multiple years of being used to it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

switch from that chinese spy tool or we better break up

"Hey babe, you know that app which is your only way of communicating with your family and friends back home? Yeah well I'm breaking up with you if you don't ditch it."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Obviously I did not mean to delete the app, but instead to not force you to use it, but I guess it's just easier to read it in a malicious way.