[-] throwingthisfr@lemmy.cafe 5 points 6 hours ago

Your coworkers called it out but you did not. So the aggressors thought "you are fine with it."

Damn, you might be right. I have looked on it in totally different way. When people call out "hey don't bully that guy", I psychologically feel they're just confirming that I'm the one on the losing end here and immediately start being defensive. I feel I'm restoring my dignity somewhat there by defending that I'm okay in that situation. I haven't realised this until you pointed this out lol sounds so obvious.

From now on, I'll try to aggressively latch to person coming on to aid me.

[-] throwingthisfr@lemmy.cafe 6 points 6 hours ago

Yeah I'm trying to learn how to set boundaries.

[-] throwingthisfr@lemmy.cafe 2 points 6 hours ago

The good news is I'm leaving this company in 2 days.

[-] throwingthisfr@lemmy.cafe 2 points 6 hours ago

No, I'm not. I'm pretty chill dude.

[-] throwingthisfr@lemmy.cafe 1 points 6 hours ago

I have difficulty in trying those obvious things you have mentioned but I have done them. Once I asked politely to shut up and when they didn't I just walled away. But this has created a image of me being a sensitive guy with not so fun personality, a cry baby.

I can't really avoid them at the office and the moment I got chance to move away, I did and I cut them off everywhere.

Coming to bosses, I don't think they care about these petty issues. Even if I do, this scenario creates two things. Those bullies might plot things against me and talk ill of me everywhere. Good people can't help but feel pity for me. Workplace becomes hell.

I work in IT sector btw.

[-] throwingthisfr@lemmy.cafe 5 points 7 hours ago

I often laugh over the jokes people make on me. And I try getting back at them too. I can understand that level of playful ribbing.

But if it happens too often and too mean to start to take notice. Even some of my good coworkers took notice of it too and called it out.

27

I have changed my work teams twice now and happened twice now. First I just thought it was one toxic guy who picked up on me and had a knack on finding bully targets. Then, I have changed teams away from this dude and I felt I was surrounded by sane people this time but it happened again. It starts with one person making fun of me and others start to pick it up.

I'm not sure what it is that I'm giving away that I attract bullies so easily. I often put a smile and not make any rude jokes with coworkers. Maybe that's the reason why?

I've observed one more pattern is that they act nice and normal when they're alone with me but suddenly when we're in a group, they start behaving in a snarky fashion towards me and find every opportunity to make fun of me. They often steal my ideas & jokes and pose them as their own too, I'm not bothered with it through as long as it doesn't benefit them in work.

I'm not an idiot either at work that makes them think I'd be an easy target. I often do my job very well and stay up with every metric. They don't seem to like it or try to downplay me whenever I'm in a spotlight.

I'll be changing companies soon and I want to try to cut down on any behaviours that make me look like the doormat that I am. Any tips on how to make others respect me more? Thanks.

-7
[-] throwingthisfr@lemmy.cafe 4 points 3 months ago

You're right I don't go out often and much rather spend my days at home online. I work now and so I'm daily put in social situations and wow some people are just outright terrible. There some sweet people out there but these terrible people just want to ruin everyone's experience. I struggle at keeping my boundaries and hence made my irl social experiences much worse.

But I'll keep trying. Thanks.

[-] throwingthisfr@lemmy.cafe 2 points 3 months ago

True. I really missed out on the average teenage experiences thinking it would be beneficial for me not to indulge in such experiences to focus on my studies. In the end, I didn't get much out of the studies either lol as I couldn't land a job in my specialisation.

Sucks to suck but I have come to terms on this as not everyone's teenage experiences have to the same and it's fine if I end up on the shorter end of the stick. There's a lot more to life (hopefully) than just your student days.

Yeah, I assumed these are feelings of a breakup and I'll just try to keep myself busy till time heals everything. Thanks.

[-] throwingthisfr@lemmy.cafe 7 points 3 months ago

Oh, sorry for not being clearer. I had a fight with this online friend of mine, and have gone no-contact for few months now. I tried reconnecting but they seem to have moved on. Sucks, I miss her but it is what it is.

The lonely part is true. I have people around me everyday but not the ones who can I share everything with. You can only share so much with your family.

23

[Reposting since my other account seems shadowbanned(?). I'm sorry if you are seeing this again]

I am one of those who are in their twenties and never had a partner (unless you count that one odd semi edating stuff I got going at one time). And thus never felt touch of a partner or their love lol.

Well in my teens, I never had these feelings this high and I always felt focusing on my studies was the best so I had myself distracted all the time. Love was a foreign concept.

Even now it does feel like one, but after a long online situationship( ? idk what you call it) I feel it unlocked something in me. I have been feeling stuff I haven't felt before and this had me trying to watch some romcoms which I never did in my teenage. But these don't really sit with me and idk how to deal with the random waves of endearing for a loving partner (my teenage self of me is still cringing at this while I type >W<) .

So what are some ways to quench off this particular thrist (without, obviously, getting a gf)?

Note: I will look for a gf in the long run for sure, I'm only looking at alternative ways of dealing with these feelings.

throwingthisfr

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