Lucky you. I've been a CIO, a COO, VP, and entering in to the job market at 35 starting over again nobody wants to hire somebody with those experiences. Not in IT/Cloud/Security anyways. Those are 'you network in' but being rehomed across country from California after 1 parent died and the other one depends on you and a promise being made to take care of them before the other passed, you're right; it is demoralizing. I'd suggest to everybody, hone a craft and hone it good, then make a service, market it, and network with people to be able to apply it to new things. Consulting, and entrepreneurship. It's so demoralizing going from one level to the lowest that the depression can hold you in bed that day.
Purpose? That eludes many. I feel horrible for what others are going through, just wanting to make something of themselves, for themselves, for their families, and being absolutely shit on by variables outside of their control.
For self-hosting, be mindful IP addresses have reputation scores and your IP needs to build them up positively. You need to have reverse DNS set, DKIM, SPF records etc for a more trusted reputation, domain reputation etc to not be flagged and sent to spam folders. I just got the $1/month Proton E-Mail for 10 addresses for 1 custom domain as I didn't feel like dealing with any of this with self hosting, but props for going the self-hosting route.