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I would recommend Unraid. Not sure what people think of it round here as surprised no one has mentioned it. My homelab was a mix of machines for VMs, Docker and NAS, and I consolidated it last year with Unraid and couldn't be happier. I run Plex, Immich, Wordpress, Home Assistant and a load of other containers, alongside a Windows and Ubuntu VM on a cheap eBay HP Z workstation. If on a NUC with only a single drive, V7 of Unraid will now work without an array, so a single drive basically. It'll give you a GUI for Docker and everything.

Sure, so I use Caddy as a reverse proxy for all my subdomains, the public ones direct straight to whatever service(s) are on IP:port etc, then the private ones only allow private IP ranges of which one is my VPN subnet, therefore only allowing LAN and VPN access. I then also have a section for each of the private subdomains with Authelia authentication which is omitted here in the caddyfile example:

(allowed) {
	@allowed client_ip 192.168.1.0/24 192.168.10.0/24 192.168.20.0/28
}

sub.domain.com {
	import allowed
	handle @allowed {
		reverse_proxy 192.168.80.8:8080
	}

	handle {
		abort
	}
}

So among my services I self host, a few need to be publicly accessible for work. For those I wish to remain private, Caddy only allows private IP ranges, plus then Authelia as auth which is set to 30 days. There is then the login of each service behind Authelia as well. It's as good as it needs to be for my needs.

If I were only self hosting private services, then as others have said, I would put all access through a VPN.

Edit: I should add that of course the private services are then only accessed via VPN to the router (part of the private IP ranges). Caddy as reverse proxy also obfuscates the subdomain names I use.