I currently only organize with DSA but I've been thinking of leaving because they don't align with my goals anymore(tldr: lots of electoralism). I want to organize with a more marxist or politically firm group but I've been so burned out I can't get myself to find one and commit to the time. I feel guilty that I'm not acting/organizing fast enough because we're in a dire time where fascism is rising and people are dying. I also feel guilty with going on about my life, like planning travel or saving for the future, because I feel like there's no time and travel/saving/planning doesn't matter when actions are being taken to oppress marginalized groups and the working class. I feel like we're in the middle, if not passed, the do or die point and there's still so much to do.
I want to keep my revolutionary optimism, where I trust our community will be able to come together and preserve in hard times, but when we're all so disjointed, it's hard to keep my spirits up.
Anyone else feel this way? How are you coping ? I'm looking for support and community.
I joined an autistm support group and one of the other participants signed up for a medical trial to 'cure' or rather, lessen the effects of autism(something about a zap to rewires the brain done over a few weeks). We talked about the ethics of it for a bit but did end up agreeing that sometimes, being autistic sucks and it's alienating. To wake up one day, neurotypical and able to pick up on social cues or maintain friendships would be so freeing.
I personally have accepted that my autism is as much of me as my soul so I'm not interested in a 'cure', but talking over the woes with other autistic people and hearing relief even at the chance to have it taken away, really changed my worldview.
Side note, we also talked about what a 'cure' would even mean because at what point does our being start and our autism end? I'm still skeptic but I hope things work out for that person.