Nope I’m an American

It’s okay. I appreciate your sympathy. It’s just hard like the skill barrier has gotten higher like with companies I’ve interviewed with in the past i could get away with easier leetcode problems and my personality skills however now its just they’re asking harder leetcode questions and more direct detailed answers on what I’ve specifically worked. Like they’ll test me on frameworks or ask me some very archaic questions which is just so frustrating to get through like I haven’t had that much experience that they’re demanding from me even in entry level positions it’s been like that.

Hey man, thank you so much for your comment. I’ve been really thinking about doing those exams. It’s just I’m really worried about the internships cause they’re reserved for college level students mostly? Do you think it’s a good idea to go back and do master’s for a better chance at internships for actuary?

Well one thing is that with friends they can come and go a lot more often than romantic relationships. The other thing when it comes to romantic relationships is where you feel a connection which is special and it’s not like spark but more so a level of comfort. A more important aspect that differentiates between friendships and romantic relationships is the vulnerability it offers for men like me but hear me out it’s that men cannot feel the same vulnerability with friends even if you’re the closest heart-to-heart level I’m talking but with relationships it’s just you don’t feel the need to hide things. Sex is the obvious difference lol but that’s like the last thing I’m interested in cause that’s like when we’re the most vulnerable. I mean this is the best I could come up with what makes friendships and romantic relationships separate.

Quite a lot actually, its just that friendships are not really an issue for me but more so like romance I guess. I feel like I can't for the life me flirt or anything that'll convey that I am romantically interested without scarring them off or just get friend zoned (friend zoned is not a bad thing for me I am more than happy to have more friends in life). Its just you know it feels like you're in stuck under a glass ceiling that you can just can't break is what I feel about dating in general.

Thanks for saying that, I appreciate you highlighting the positives of me. You're right when it comes to confidence, its just that I do hard things that people don't do because its just I wanted to prove that I am worthy for love and relationships. I do try to work on my confidence my trying to validate myself internally (that's why I have like positive affirmations notes with me all times and Marcus Aurelius famous quote of you having power over your mind).

Its still a work in progress but its just I crave for love so much and honestly this is something I just can't help but blame my own weight because women tend to like slimmer men even if there are women who like chubbier or even don't care about your weight. But the reality has been in my experience been that they do prefer men who are athletic or at least who look good but when you're not that its been a vicious cycle for me where to cope for rejection I'd just turn to eating more as a coping mechanism or a stress reliever. I do hope that women are more open minded and I do hope I am wrong about that. Again, thanks for your comment I appreciate you saying that.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. Its just that the reason why I've said as a man is because both men and women live their lives so differently like in terms of dating (I am generalizing here and I could be wrong), women tend to get approached often by men so they sometimes don't have to do much except for filtering out the men who just want sex versus the one who they want long-term wise. For men, they tend to have to make the first approach often in order for them to get noticed.

I'm saying this generally and yeah its just this is also just me I do think of women as friends first cause I want to also so see how whether or not our values align together or not. Women are people too I realize that, its just hard when a lot of other men are doing the same thing and its hard not to feel behind in this rat race lol even tho it isn't but sometimes it feels like it when there is someone you're interested in and they like someone else or that they're not looking to date or anything. Sorry for the rambling its just I'm frustrated with it and if I feel like I stop looking for someone, no one is going to come to me if that makes sense and I'm just you know alone with my thoughts.

I agree with that statement, I've been going to my family's place every weekend just for that to learn to cook with my mom lol at this age

I agree, it is definitely skewing how I perceive the age vs relationship when I see a lot of people who've been in relationships multiple times before they hit 25 when I moved to the US when I was like 19. Other things that could be skewing how I perceive is how I think I look which is another reason why I am trying to lose weight as well. Thank you for your reply tho, I really appreciate it.

That “oh no” song from Tiktok

Reddit unironically gives me 1984 as it’s about to get worse from here on out.

It seems that the devs are considering to use mCaptcha. Link to the discussion