So the US is actually banning people for daring to oppose mass murder.

This is such a grotesquely insane timeline.

I'd love to play poker against him.

So even the little tiny bit of work they have to do to justify their obscene salaries is too much for them.

It's so bizarre to be living in a timeline in which mass murder is right and condemning mass murder is wrong.

Think of how much evil and stupidity in the world ultimately traces back to some men and the boners they're ashamed of.

This is a great example of what is, to me, the most bizarre part of this bizarre timeline - this stinky-assed overgrown toddler actually believes this.

The way it works in his warped mind:

• He wants to annex Canada, therefore annexing Canada is just and right and proper and smart and best, because everything he wants automatically is. (And a side note - his Kremlin handlers almost certainly planted the idea of annexing Canada in his mind in the first place, though it's an open question whether he knows that or not).
• Canada unsurprisingly opposes annexation.
• But it's his idea (not really, but that's a distinction he's not equipped to make), therefore it's the bestest and beautifulest and perfectest idea ever in the history of ever, and Canada's just being nasty and disagreeable about it.

And that's it. That's the extent of the thinking in his overgrown toddler mind - "I want and you won't give so you're mean.

He's the adult version of that kid we all knew in middle school - the one who was creepy and awkward and desperate to get the cool kids to like him and he talked too much and laughed too loud in a way that sounded like he could tip over into hysteria any second, and the only thing he had going for him was that his family had money, so he always got the latest and coolest games and toys and he'd show them off in the desperate hope that someone would want to play with him but nobody ever did because he was just so desperate and creepy.

Democratic leaders blearily looked up from their mid-afternoon cocktails on the decks of billionaire's yachts and said, "They want us to what?"

So it's only barely March and Trump is already basically bent over on the front steps of the Kremlin with his butt cheeks spread, shouting, "Take me daddy!"

I expected him to bend over for Putin, but even cynical as I am, I didn't expect him to do it so completely so quickly.

So... Trump voters?

Oh look - the Democrats are going to fight fire with lukewarm criticism.

Yes, that will surely work.

The "wrong man" bit is just an additional layer of evil really - it's not as if they could've killed the "right man" over a stolen weed eater.