Hello friends, I'm in my mid 20's and this is my first time exploring religion.
I was raised in a somewhat non-religious family.
I started wanting to explore my personal beliefs more a few years ago and became agnostic.
Within this last year I have started exploring Christianity a lot more.
I even started regularly attending church 10 months ago.
I love the church, I love the community, and I love the teachings of Jesus and wish to live like him.
The only thing holding me back from fully converting, getting baptized and taking communion is actually the bible itself.
I have such a hard time "believing" in it.
Especially as a very scientific person.
I can't get past a lot of the stories in the OT like the talking burning bush, or Noah's arc, or all of the mysteries and miracles.
I believe strongly in evolution, I believe dinosaurs existed, and the miracles just feel fictitious as I thumb through my bible.
This cognitive dissonance is my biggest hurdle because it makes me question if what I believe in and love about the NT is even real.
I know, the whole point is to just have faith in it; but I am REALLY questioning myself.
I don't know if I can ever believe in it, but I have loved the journey I have been on in the past year. It's like the closer I get to wanting to be baptized, the more I struggle in belief.
I want to be Christian, but at times I feel like my brain just can't do it, almost as if it wasn't built to be religious.
Is this normal for late in life Christians?
Should I just stick it out and contintue to do what I'm doing and hope God eventually guides me into having a stronger faith?
With how much I struggle with this inner battle, I feel like getting baptized or taking communion would be heretical at this point.
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Any progress or updates?