I make people hate me when I play monopoly. I hate the game as much as I hate the system it was originally meant to mock. So every so often, people I know will keep trying to get me to play.

Monopoly Pro Tip: buy everything you can afford, put as many of the little houses you can on it, but don't upgrade to the big pieces. When there are no more small pieces, you can simply bleed everyone dry.

I've had people literally flip boards in anger.

And every time I hear someone say "that's not fair", I respond "I know it's not, But 'what's fair' doesn't matter in capitalism."

Yes, I get a little preachy with it.

But hey, I've almost never been asked to play again by the same person.

Whenever someone asks "well why isn't there a STRAIGHT pride?" or "what about X lives, don't they matter?"

Rather than explaining that you can celebrate one thing without pushing another out, I've decided to use the tools people like this keep saying I need: the Bible.

Luke 15:4-6 4 Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’

Nowhere does it say "Jesus said the shepherd should abandon that one because ALL sheep matter, and there will be NO celebration of the thing that was lost and has been regained."

Of course, I've been accused of being "a satanic supporter of the antichrist" because I "cherry pick verses that say things I like" Without a hint of irony.

You could absolutely say, with no surrounding context, "Palestinians deserve to live", and have half a dozen people call you antisemitic, as if you were

1: talking about jews or Israel in the first place,

2- saying NEGATIVE things about those groups, or

C, implying that two groups of people can't exist at the same time.

And a dozen other people nearby will nod their heads in silence as though the person calling you antisemitic was in some way correct in their assessment.

It's trashCAN

Not trashCANNOT

I've never seen this specific photo, but it absolutely was popular ~2010.

Tubas and trombones were popular choices among band students

Every extreme sport is insane if you dissect it with rational thought about human frailty.

It's great!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go strip to thin breathable cloth so I can tear along the countryside at speeds humans weren't designed to travel at, while dodging trees, bushes, occasional wildlife, roots and rocks, hoping my air filled donut bladders don't rupture and none of the welds on my metal stick give out. Once I'm done I'll cool off with a nice downhill roll, rivaling the cheetah on speed.

That said... Caves are one of those places I'd love to go to one someday but it won't be relaxing for me. They can be scary as FUCK. Don't even get me started on cave diving. Those people are insane and in need of therapy.

When I was a child, I once knocked every book off every shelf in the house.

Because I had 6 books in alphabetical order on my little shelf in my room. My mother kept rearranging them in as close a rainbow distribution as possible.. I asked her to stop many times, but ultimately decided if you're going to mess up my shelf, I will mess up yours.

Surprisingly this tactic worked, and they didn't make me clean up the books by myself, they did most of it.

Their idea of "organizing" the books is "well most of the books in that series are close to each other, but a bunch of other random ones are mixed in, and entire genres have been rearranged many times so who knows what books we even actually have"

They have a similar way of organizing dvds. It's infuriating.

so I thought it was a real instrument

..... It is a real instrument. Like over 5,000 years old.

started making it

Absolutely can't relate.

"in error"

Also known as: "Someone higher up took a bribe or inserted personal politics into a government agency and we got caught doing nothing about it. "

THANK YOU!

I always say a fun "bad" movie is often better than a high production value meh movie.

Give me comic book ridiculous Hellboy, not some serious brooding slop.

I want the movie to understand exactly what it is, and lean into it.

Give me Spaceballs. Give me Godzilla. I have seen so many "artsy" films. sometimes I just want to watch a guy punch another guy with a teacup so hard he dies, and scare three other dudes with a can opener.

Sometimes I just want to see a couple normal looking people absolutely wreck a gang of thugs who underestimated their opponent.

And hope if they make sequels, the sequels don't get too full of themselves.

#JohnBrownDidNothingWrong