I work in tech. I hopped around from the Midwest to the southwest to now the bay area.
One suggestion I have is to keep an open mind. Tech is extremely competitive in some circles and it might make sense to move to a place you never would've imagined just to get your foot in the door for an industry or to get a promotion, etc. Discounting the bay area, one of the epicenters of tech, just because of the political landscape is self-destructive at worst and limiting of career at best.
I live in the mountains in largely a small town conservative area in the bay area - I own many firearms, never had any problems getting them. I own dirtbikes, ATVs, kayaks, surfboards, a large multi acre property where I can't see my neighbors in the redwoods, etc. Meeting me, you wouldn't even know I worked in tech. My political identity is complicated but I found my place here in the mountains with like minded individuals. If I want to, I can always go into the city and experience it, and it is just over the hill, but it isn't where I want to live.
I am always open to at least interview anywhere and will always ask for a couple extra days when being flown out to check out the area and see if I like it. In some cases, like the southwest, I'll probably never go back to, but I took the dive and lived there for many years before deciding it wasn't for me.
The world is huge. Many of these tech hubs like Boston, New York, and the Bay area are so diverse and just massive that just because overall it can be very liberal, there are many, many niche communities in these areas which can cater to every individual.
The same can be said for companies and even internally within companies. I'm part of a mildly conservative old timer, politically incorrect team, and we do fine and have no issues, while there are other teams I know to be very sensitive and others which are very corporate and unfriendly. All within the same company.
It can take a while to find the right fit. There are known companies here where backstabbing culture to succeed is a thing, and that's probably where a lot of these pretentious kids go to. When we interview, we largely look for that behavior and will reject candidates for it, even if they are a solid tech background.
Not a lot of advice, but some personal anecdotes which I hope can help make you feel better.
I, too, was one of the "Black sheep" of my software engineering class. I was dismayed enough to double major in another degree so I could balance it out.
[Freakonomics Radio] 568. Why Are People So Mad at Michael Lewis? #freakonomicsRadio https://podcastaddict.com/freakonomics-radio/episode/168343814 via @PodcastAddict
He also did a podcast on Freakonomics explaining his position. He wrote the book to give a sense of why everybody fell for SBF. To act like he was an idiot does a disservice to all those affected, and so Michael Lewis captures him in a way that shows why people didn't question what he was doing. Many people took it as Michael Lewis being a kiss ass, but really, he was trying to show SBF as the complex character that he is.