Still can't make his tiny mushroom look bigger

Sure, but "being dumb" isn't an exclusive club for people with low intelligence. There plenty of very smart people that are also dumb. Hell, most AIs could be classified as smart but dumb.

Wouldn't the knock-on effects of a reduced attention span pretty much look like 'dumber'?

We really ought to be calling those 'illegal military operations'

The vegetable vampire one was Bunnicula!

It's not an "if" detector, it's a "how much" detector. It looks like it's using the LED chamber to light the film in a consistent way, and then the phone camera measures the color change to quantify how much radiation it was exposed to.

There's always the Jewel Cooler:

Don't forget Swiss Army Man!

15 square meters isn't the same as 15m×15m, it'd be a little smaller than 4m×4m. Still a big hole.

Jury nullification only helps if you get an actual jury.

For those wondering, this played out well! OP found someone to take the job. His wife bit on the prank gleefully, was actually thrilled by the idea that OP had a son he didn't know about. When the prank was revealed, she thought it was hilarious. Ultimately pretty wholesome, OP married a keeper.

CEO?