There's always the Jewel Cooler:

I mean, it is 100% discrimination against people who are too old to do the job, yes.

Don't forget Swiss Army Man!

15 square meters isn't the same as 15m×15m, it'd be a little smaller than 4m×4m. Still a big hole.

Jury nullification only helps if you get an actual jury.

More like homicidally stupid.

The 'S' in IOT stands for Secure

We definitely whip shitties in WI, too.

For those wondering, this played out well! OP found someone to take the job. His wife bit on the prank gleefully, was actually thrilled by the idea that OP had a son he didn't know about. When the prank was revealed, she thought it was hilarious. Ultimately pretty wholesome, OP married a keeper.

CEO?

Doesn't happen with spacecraft either, despite what Hollywood often depicts. In order to 'stop' in space, you actually have to generate thrust. The scary thing that can happen if you lose your engine in space isn't getting stuck in one place, it's smashing into your destination at full speed.

Lucifer