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Suggestion for gender tags (fedinsfw.app)
submitted 4 days ago by to c/gonewild@fedinsfw.app
NSFW 24 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Terms like "transgender" [T], trans-masculine [TM] or trans-feminine [TF] are equally as informative but not unpleasant and dysphoric as "male-to-female" and "female-to-male", which by many people are and will be viewed negatively.

Since posting and sexting is supposed to be about about fun and pleasure, I suggest changing the current rules to make space more inviting and accepting for different people. (:

Due to the mod request, I am personally fine with changing my gender tags ([F] (trans)) to [NB] for the time being and abstain from further posting as I'm principally opposed to refering to myself as "male to female" instead of "trans-feminine" or simply "transgender woman". There is no need to introduce each post with implication of being "half a man" or "formerly a man" and the like.

It's not that I am deeply offended or pretentious, but rather not taking pleasure from being grouped together with men [M] whenever I want to post something sexy.

P.S. I was otherwise very happy with my experience and enjoyed all the posts, comments and interactions (; <3

Cheers

all 24 comments

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[–] 1 point 1 day ago (1 child)

Would you suggest getting rid of of FTM and MTF in favor of TM and TF or have them as additional options?

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    • [–] 11 points 3 days ago (3 children)

    maybe instead of "gender" tags, what about equipment & presentation tags, like [PM] penis masc, [PF] penis feminine, [VM], [VA], etc?

    sorry if this is offensive. i truly don't intend it to be.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 3 days ago*

    It's fair! But should we also distinguish between chest types and make very specific complicated tags about body types?

    I think it'd get a bit ridiculous at this point so the most important information for the viewer is gender and whether someone is cis or trans as trans bodies will typically vary much more and usually more androgyny is to be expected. (:

    The only exception I can think of relevant to genitals are people who are born intersex which sometimes is used as a third category next to cis or trans.

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    • [–] 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

    I'm all for T, TF, and TM as well, and NB for those who prefer it. For me the gender tags just tells me more about the person than for filtering. While I never actually comment in NSFW coms, if I were it'd let me know how to address them.

    Having to be exclusively MTF or FTM is silly. I thought you tagged it well, and you have an enviable booty!

    Edit about 7 hours later: My guess as to why they're limited right now is due to how the community/instance does auto-tagging and flairs, which is why the sidebar dictates posts with multiple people have separated tags in the post title. That's a best guess going by the pinned post about the issue. IMO, if additional tags/flairs cannot be supported right now then that function should be dropped for the time being in favor of better tags in post titles.

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    [–] 10 points 3 days ago (15 children)

    Not a mod here, but a regular viewer and somewhat regular commenter, so I though I'd give my 0.02€ (also cis male, in case that's relevant).

    Firstly, to me, gonewild is fundamentally about the person that makes the post, for two reasons:

    1. Simple "economics": If the OPs are not getting anything out of it, there's no content (unless you count advertisements from content producers, which isn't really what gonewild is about for me).
    2. The genuine erotic self-expression of another person by the medium of photography is what I'm here for. If I wanted just any old porn, I would look either in other communities or simply outside of social media altogether.

    My conclusion from that is: If there's a rule that does not suit the people posting here, it should change. So, I'd be all for [TF], etc. either as a replacement or as an addition to [MTF], etc.

    Secondly, I'm not sure who and what the gender tags are for. Ostensibly, it's for filtering out content a viewer does not wish to see. If we ever get to the point where this community has reddit-levels of posting frequency, that might be necessary (although I'd prefer additional communities for narrower content), but I really don't think we have that problem right now.

    I have other preconceptions about why people might want gender tags, but I don't want to argue with strawpeople - they're scratchy and pokey and not in a good way. So, instead I'd like to post the question: Why have gender tags at all? I hope it's okay to ask this. I don't mean to overreach, dear mods.

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  • [–] 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (13 children)

    The tags are for viewers like me.

    In my subjective experience, porn (and sex) is one of the extremely few contexts where a person's genitals do matter: I simply don't enjoy seeing naked people with penises regardless of whether they were born that way or not and regardless of gender. It's just a personal turn off. (To me there are exceptions for couples/groups, and I wish the tagging was different so they wouldn't have to also get filtered, but that's beside the point)

    I get that not everyone cares about plumbing even in this context. But I sincerely appreciate the rule requiring tags. As for OP's request of changing the tags, sounds fine to me. (And I would love if couples could get specific tags too, even if it's just like [MF] instead of [M][F])

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  • [–] 3 points 2 days ago (11 children)

    A question to you and u/tits: Does that mean that trans woman after bottom surgery can or even should tag their posts [F] because they now have a vulva instead of a penis? Also, do you include trans men [FTM] in your filter, since they typically do not have a penis?

    I don't mean to needle you, it just sound like what you want are the tags [penis] and [vulva], not anything to do with gender.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

    To elaborate a bit more, I also am only attracted to fem or at least androgynous people, so post surgery trans women sure, but not trans men. The tagging situation for that level of detail could get complicated easily. And is different for me than the other reply you got since they care about birth genitals and care about current ones.

    But yeah for me ideal tags would be the combination of (current) equipment and presentation. Even just that could get complex with couples' tags, but I think it would be worth it.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 days ago (8 children)

    I'm not interested in neogenitals, either looking at them or interacting with them.

    To put it impolitely, what I want from my porn (and the [F] filter) is sexy, breedable females. Any variety of MTF is not that. FTM is that, except maybe after phalloplasty, I don't know the details on that.

    I'm not going to claim to have an enlightened dick. It wants what it wants

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  • [–] 2 points 1 day ago (3 children)

    Why not put it politely?

    I respect your kinks, but I'm not sure a wide-ranging subreddit like gonewild is the best place to get your fix - even on the F tag.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 child)

    It can't be said politely because it's pure sexism concealed as a kink. Women can be attractive in so many ways that do not involve "breedability" but some people can't comprehend it - and it makes one wonder if they actually like women 😅

    Edit: I checked and it's a transphobic troll account made 2 days ago solely to keep posting these comments under my posts so there is no point engaging further as the issue has already been discussed.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

    Consider "breedable" to be imperfect shorthand that doesn't capture the entirety of sexual attraction, but provides a simple baseline for using the [F] tag.

    There's plenty of other tags to use, or !transgonewild@fedinsfw.app

    EDIT: In response to your edit, asking a question and getting an answer you don't like isn't transphobia, or trolling. I don't "keep" doing anything under your posts, and only engaged directly with you in this single post, after you engaged with me.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

    How would you put that politely?

    I respect your desire for it just be a kink or a fix. I think this community is bigger than just your preferences, however.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

    Would you like to also verify which women are fertile and breedable before they post porn? Should infertile men without both functional testicles be excluded from [M] tag?

    Trans bodies on hormones or post- op usually smell and feel to the touch like their cisgender counterparts. Apparently even some doctors can't differentiate genitals from neogenitals.

    Clearly fertility is not the main reason these tags exist. 😝 Yes I'm all for separate [T] gender tags but it doesn't have anything to do with fertility or breedability.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    I can't speak for everyone, though I suspect I'm the average viewer of the [F] filter. For me, it's 100% about breedability. Hormones and surgery can't change what matters. An infertile woman still has the equipment, even if some of it's faulty. No comment on [M], it's not my interest.

    I know this isn't what some people want to hear, but that's how sexual attraction works for me, and likely most viewers of the [F] tag. Sorry, but it is what it is.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    As a viewer of the F tag, I'm fairly certain you are wrong about most of "us".

    To me, what's attractive about a person or their post is the thought of what I might want to do with them and/or they with me. Those fantasies almost never feature getting someone pregnant. More likely they feature the opposite, actually. In general, I feel like most people are here for the process, not the potential result. ^^

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  • [–] 1 point 2 days ago

    Another viewer here, same. When I'm looking at porn, I don't care about gender. I only care about sex. [F (trans)] should not be used, because it shows up when I filter by [F]. I get that some people don't mind, but I strongly do not want. I don't care about other tags like [T], as long as I can filter by [F] and not get any of that.

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  • [–] 6 points 3 days ago

    Just pushing a bit more in the same way. I don't know why gender tag would be relevant. Also, I don't know what should be the tag for non-binaries or agenders, are they supposed to specify if they are male or female?

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    • [–] 4 points 3 days ago

    I've always assumed it was "use whatever here's examples" but yeah, on reflection it is written as a limited selection. Seems pretty reasonable to expand the list or just have people use whatever they're most comfortable with.

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