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[–] 74 points 16 hours ago (1 child)

I tell all my nieces and nephews that if they're ever doing something that will get them in trouble with their parents but they feel unsafe or need a ride home, that I will drop what I'm doing and be there for them, and will smooth things over with their parents.

I also have a deal with the parents that if I ever need to do that, the kids won't be punished.

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  • [–] 197 points 21 hours ago (27 children)

    I mean it is wholesome that dad would do that.

    But if you find yourself in situations where you might need an escape like this that often that you make this kind of deal, you might reconsider your friend group because that's an unhealthy relationship.

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  • [–] 39 points 17 hours ago* (4 children)

    So I was a kid who was goofy and hung out with gamer kids. One LAN party the kids from the other high school showed up and we went for a drive.

    I had no idea it was going to happen, but one kid had a handgun and shot out from the moving car window in a residential neighborhood without any warning.

    I probably would have taken my parents up on the offer to bail if I had a code word to do it, but I wasnt about to call my daddy in a car with an unstable kid with a gun to say im scared come get me.

    Tldr its a good thing don't shit on it.

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  • [–] 116 points 20 hours ago (8 children)

    Children literally have not had the experience to recognize these situations, their brains aren't fully developed, and aren't fully in charge of their own lives. I agree that if you're doing this often then you may want to have a conversation about how it keeps happening, but it's much better for a kid to feel like they have a safety net. Otherwise they may stick in the shady situation and end up in more trouble

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  • [–] 57 points 19 hours ago (4 children)

    So this sounds like a kid who's in high school, probably 14 or 15. Enough freedom to go off and make mistakes, not old enough to always be able to bail from weird situations (no car or license, just doesn't have the confidence yet to speak up).

    You want your kids to go out and make mistakes, just not ones that have permanent consequences. Having a set up like this is how you let them go get in a little trouble and have a reasonably safe exit plan.

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  • [–] 3 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

    I honestly don't know how I feel about this. I'm yet to be a parent of a teenager but that clock is ticking.

    My initial thought is, by the time my kids are able to get into situations which are "getting weird", I hope they're equipped to extricate themselves without needing this kind of cover call from dad. I mean, what if I didn't check my messages or something?

    I really hope my kids are confident enough to say that they don't feel comfortable with something and just leave.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

    Been a parent of three, was a teenager myself before the Communication Age. It's good to be honest with your kids that they're going to do dumb shit and you're going to bail them out no matter what. They have to be presented with difficult situations to learn how to respond to them, and knowing that their parents have their back is part of what gives them confidence.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 hours ago (1 child)

    I'm an 80s kid myself.

    My parents were weird Christian types that preferred to believe kids never did anything, but also did not want to spend any time or take any interest with us.

    Consequently we did all sorts of risky stuff and couldn't ask our parents when shit got weird.

    With that background, it's absolutely important to me that my kids know I'll always back them up as you say.

    However, none of that really supports the weird escape code set up in the OP. Does your kid really need an adult to call and take the blame for getting them out of a situation? Or are there a myriad of other better ways your kid could navigate a bad situation.

    I'm sure I'll make loads of mistakes as a parent, so I might fail in this regard, but my hope is that my kid has the confidence to just say they don't want to be a part of something.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 hours ago

    So you also remember how fast rumors and gossip would spread without technology. It's a thousand times worse now. As a parent, I'd be happy to play the bad guy if my kid thinks that's the best choice in their social dynamic. They know better than I do what kind of risk of social backlash there might be.

    It's hard to be a kid. Anything that I can do to give them a leg up is okay. I should also mention that that kind of bad guy ploy is only part of it. Talking about situations before and after is a much bigger part.

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  • [–] 70 points 21 hours ago

    eh, its good to have a plan whether or not certain occurances are common.

    I know what to grab (if I can) and where I'm going if my house is on fire because i made a plan. doesn't mean my house catches fire often, just that I'm realistic about possible dangers and how to respond to them.

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    [–] 39 points 17 hours ago (7 children)

    And then he posts the secret code for all the internet to see.

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  • [–] 13 points 10 hours ago (6 children)

    Don't worry, there's no young people here.

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  • [–] 12 points 9 hours ago (5 children)

    What's that? Speak into my good ear.

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  • [–] 6 points 8 hours ago* (4 children)

    DON’T WORRY, THERE’S NO YOUNG PEOPLE HERE.

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  • [–] 8 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

    Did he say "the sheriff was near."?

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  • [–] 12 points 14 hours ago

    This is the plot of an episode of The Middle.

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  • [–] 68 points 21 hours ago (8 children)

    My son and I have our coded message that we know to share only when we want the other to literally drop everything, track location, and potentially call 911. If said over the phone or via text, it seems like one party is irresponsible, and the other party is irritated.

    I doubt we’ll ever have to say it, but to me it’s worth us having set that up.

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