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[–] 69 points 1 day ago (8 children)

My son and I have our coded message that we know to share only when we want the other to literally drop everything, track location, and potentially call 911. If said over the phone or via text, it seems like one party is irresponsible, and the other party is irritated.

I doubt we’ll ever have to say it, but to me it’s worth us having set that up.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 day ago (6 children)
  • [–] 50 points 22 hours ago (5 children)

    If one of them says What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. it means the other is in trouble.

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  • [–] 21 points 20 hours ago (4 children)

    That's convenient, since you can text it one handed with your eyes closed.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 hours ago

    It's a copypasta because somebody commented that, seemingly unironically, somewhere at some point and people found it so funny they started copying it around.

    It's funny in this post because of the meme and the ridiculousness - you start reading the comment with the example short phrases to send in an emergency, and instead get a ridiculously long text you recognize as a copypasta.

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