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[–] 4 points 31 minutes ago

So.. you got a couple bucks I can borrow? I only need about tree fitty.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 hour ago* (2 children)

    You should ask Reddit how you can legally keep it. But make sure they don't know it is you who found it. Use "hypothetically" in your question.

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  • [–] 3 points 22 minutes ago (1 child)

    And imperative.

    Also replace words for close enough synonyms. Like say cylinder instead of 🍆.

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  • [–] 3 points 11 minutes ago*
    • Go eat a bag of cylinders.

    • Your cylinder is too soft. No way I am sticking that in my mouth.

    • You can pound your cylinder for as long as you want, but it's not going to taste any different

    Huh. I don't think it's a good replacement word for eggplant. Cylinder just doesn't roll off my tounge any easier. It kinda makes me gag a little thinking about it, actually.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 hour ago

    If you instead drained diesel out of one of the F150 parked outside, you’d made double.

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  • [–] 17 points 2 hours ago

    oh, yeah, uh it's like, mine.

    i like left it there on accident or something.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 hour ago

    oh shit you found my luggage bro

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  • [–] 1 point 36 minutes ago

    Pull a joker and set it on fire

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  • [–] 8 points 2 hours ago (1 child)

    Hey big man, lemme hold a dollar

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