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[–] 14 points 4 days ago (1 child)

I have a cursed mouse.

Not like a taxidermied mouse, but a cursed computer mouse.

It looks and functions like a normal wireless mouse... Until you get to a page where there is horizontal scrolling capability. Instantly, the mouse will scroll the page all the way to the right. This is especially fun in spreadsheets. The mouse will do this even if it is turned off. The problem is really the wireless reciver, not the actually mouse, but it is still a fun cursed object that I hope to someday unleash on some unsuspecting sibling.

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    [–] 13 points 4 days ago (1 child)

    Probably my 2lb jar of mercury. Have fun disposing of that toxic waste!

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  • [–] 11 points 4 days ago

    Why'd he have a Super Nintendo mouse but not the system, no games, nor anything else related?

    Nobody will actually ask that, though. Because nobody would assume it was anything other than an old-school computer mouse with an obsolete connector. And even if they did recognize what it was, nobody would think twice about how odd it is to have that, and only that. The only strange thing, maybe, is that it's stored with my keepsakes and not the rest of my obsolete tech, various cords, & connectors.

    But the answer is: When I went away to college, I didn't take my video game stuff with me. My cousins asked to use my SNES and games, so I gave them permission while I was away. They grabbed everything except the mouse. At some point, they decided to sell my stuff to help purchase their Playstation, so I never got my SNES or games back. Then when my parents lost their house to foreclosure a few years later, they packed my things into a box, and gave it to me. I've held onto it for all these decades.

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  • [–] 64 points 6 days ago (2 children)

    I have four big black bins in my closet, full of… adult stuff I think those would definitely qualify. Maybe the foxtails, or my hot pink bunny mask, I’ve got a bunch of weird costumes that would raise eyebrows

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    [–] 16 points 4 days ago (3 children)

    probably the zombie porn.

    yeah... that or the Dino porn.

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    [–] 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

    My Zip discs. Kids today barely recognise floppies; they'd be completely stumped with those fat floppies that don't seem to fit anywhere.

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    [–] 48 points 6 days ago* (7 children)

    Honestly, my network and server.

    I am self learned so i often come up with my own creative solutions instead of knowing about a common standard. I can’t imagine anyone but me could maintain it.

    In a previous iteration of my server i bent over backwards to make sure /home did not contain any user folders and instead only the mount points to numerous drives. Why? Inexplicably even if you do consider autism.

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    [–] 24 points 5 days ago (3 children)

    I have a plushie Yoshi amiibo from Yoshi's Woolly World, and I've stuck every whisker I've found from my cats into its head, so now it looks like one of those troll dolls.

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  • [–] 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

    I have this same plushie and am horrified by this image

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  • [–] 9 points 4 days ago

    This is why I'm making sure to destroy my PC. Closeted fetishes, Rule34 stuff, SecondLife sex imagery and things I've done with people on there .etc

    Everything in my physical possessions would not give off anything, but anything found on my PC would.

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  • [–] 42 points 6 days ago (3 children)

    Weirdest for sure would be the contents of my journals. For a while during and after the pandemic I wrote a lot of entries very altered and I've also written a lot of entries at the top of some pretty spectacular manic episodes and the bottom of some very dark holes. I can't read them myself because they make me seem quite insane.

    Most unexplainable would be a 50 alliance credit note from the Firefly/Serenity universe. They were produced by a gaggle of nerds and exact down to the paper, which is a semi-transparent nylon blend. I was given 300 credits in mixed bills as a joke from someone I had a one night stand with as payment for services rendered, but I've given them out to various fans of the show I've met over the 20 or so years they've been in my possession. If you weren't a mega fan of the show though, they would look like money from some obscure Asian country.

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    [–] 38 points 6 days ago (12 children)

    A military medal that was awarded to me.

    I have never been a member of any nation’s armed forces.

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  • [–] 19 points 5 days ago (8 children)
  • [–] 44 points 5 days ago (6 children)

    It’s not really that exciting, in retrospect:

    I used to work for a charity doing construction in disaster areas; building schools, medical centres, plumbing etc. We’d turn up after wars, floods, earth quakes and other stuff like that. Most of us were single men, with zero attachments or responsibilities, so we took the more (potentially) dangerous jobs out there - purely for the adrenaline and the madness.

    On arrival in the country a car load of us traveled 100km-ish away from the capital to scout the location we’d be at. After a day or two there we discovered that the situation on the ground really didn’t match the information we’d been given. A rebel army, of sorts, (maybe a militia, more accurately) had regrouped and were coming back towards us. As we were, uh, not local then there was the potential for some kidnapping - or worse - type shenanigans.

    Me, 2 colleagues and our fixer (and his mother) decided to get out of there immediately. We “swapped” the charity’s car for a battered Toyota and some local clothes from our fixer’s uncle. (I’m sure he had about 600 uncles in total…)

    We encountered a four man forward operations group of the proper army on the road. They asked us to follow them and detour to a village and help evacuate a group of people. We got there, “borrowed” a coach, loaded it up and then we got out of there, quick sharp. Zero incidents.

    I don’t think we got the medal for bravery, as such, but more for a lack of cowardice and just doing the right thing when we really could’ve just fucked-off straight to the capital and boarded a plane out of there.

    I didn’t mention it when I got back home because if I did it would just look like I was glazing myself - or lying.

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    [–] 8 points 4 days ago

    While I will undoubtedly leave behind a lot of weird things, I don't think anyone who knew me would be that shocked by anything I left behind.

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  • [–] 30 points 5 days ago

    I'm the guy in the office people come to when they need something. Ibuprofen? Got it. Superglue? Got it. Change for the vending machine? Yup. I keep the change in an envelope I've labeled "petty cash". Inside that envelope , I have a smaller envelope that I've labeled "mad money". I have about $27 worth of Monopoly money in that one.

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  • [–] 30 points 5 days ago

    I have a ton of unique 3d printed firearms. They are legal for me to make and own where I live, but I can't legally sell them or give them away so they have just accumulated over the years haha

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  • [–] 32 points 6 days ago (2 children)

    The massive horse dildo may be a bit of an head scratcher, though knowing me - maybe not that surprising thing to find.

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    [–] 21 points 5 days ago (10 children)

    Probably curious about why I, an atheist, have the Book of Mormon, the Catholic Apocrypha, the Books of Enoch, the Quran, and the standard Bible along with my collection of books on energy healing and astrology.

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    [–] 14 points 5 days ago (5 children)

    Aside from adult items, it would be my collection of 400 keys all on a bunch of different connected key rings or maybe my rum bottle full of used needles.

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    [–] 23 points 5 days ago

    Nice try, CIA guy, how about you come on down and see it for yourself if you really must know.

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  • [–] 15 points 5 days ago (1 child)

    I have a collection of Quack medical devices from the early 1900s. Some of them are used now as electrostatic sex toys.

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    In my desk drawer is a small, plastic black box. Emerging from its surface is a toggle switch, some lights and wires that end in alligator clips. There is no writing at all, inside or out, It starts blinking lights and making an ominous buzzing sound if you let the wires touch each other while it's turned on. I built it myself, and you've got no hope of figuring out what it's for if you don't know already.

    spoilerIt's a test light for setting the external ignition timing on airplane engines, to make sure both spark plugs in each cylinder fire at the same time. I doubt even most aircraft mechanics would recognize it because it doesn't look like a "real" one.

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  • [–] 18 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

    My family probably wouldn't be surprised about anything I own. They know the kind of guy I am.

    A stranger might be a bit concerned about a certain wooden chest in my dining room. Large enough to fit an adult man (yes, we tried) but filled to the brim with swords, axes, pieces of armor and a 3 foot wooden spoon.

    Edit: second place to a glittery pink princess themed friendship book filled with entries from adult millennials who like retro games, horror movies and metal.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 days ago

    My smooth pocket stone.

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  • [–] 15 points 5 days ago (11 children)

    Hmmm. Probably a (real) human spine (not my own).

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  • [–] 22 points 5 days ago (6 children)

    ...was it ethically sourced, at least?

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    [–] 5 points 4 days ago

    Unfinished projects. It's amazing how hard it can be for someone else to see the vision on something until it reaches a certain point.

    Also my second knife I forged, the first one being a beautiful bowie that sold at a charity auction the second being a crusty shank with an unpolished metal tang loop around as the handle.

    Everyone always laughs when I say "sure I have a knife" for something and break it out.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 days ago

    An outlet with a timer set on it I would say. I have portable solar panels and grow ligts too.

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