Speaker Mike Johnson is closing up the House early, sending lawmakers home Wednesday to campaign for the midterm elections after what he claims is the most productive Congress in decades.

But not without a scathing rebuke from GOP Rep. Thomas Massie for all the unfinished business.

Massie's resolution to impeach Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth over the war in Iran and his bipartisan effort to force the release of more files in the Jeffrey Epstein investigation are all being left behind, blocked from votes.

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[–] 71 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Cover up issues and then lie. That's a great campaign message for Republicans. Oh, and taxpayer waste. Why are we paying them a salary to bot do their jobs? Vote them out!

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  • [–] 41 points 1 week ago (5 children)
    • Some scientists in the desert screw up, causing a big accident.
    • Send in the military to cover it up and kill every scientist they can find.
    • Send in a separate unit to do the same thing to the first military unit sent.
    • Detonate a nuke in the facility just to be sure nothing gets out.

    The Republicans would do well in the Half Life universe.

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  • [–] 32 points 1 week ago (3 children)

    Don't forget:

    • Lose a war in 7 hours
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  • [–] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

    I am proud to say that we have won the war with the Universal Union! IN ONLY SEVEN HOURS! No president has ever won a war faster than me, your favorite president. The Universal Union is so impressed, they want me to administrate the entire Earth! You hear that, Canada? NOW YOU ARE THE 51st STATE! Along with everyone else! Thank you for your attention to this matter!

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    I am fine with this. That 51st state that is "everyone else" would basically hold all the voting power and maybe they can fix our broke ass.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago

    Sure, provided the Combine, uh, still sees value in our electoral system. I can see Trump eagerly accepting an offer to become Earth's Administrator if the Combine agrees to make sure Trump never sees a jail cell, provided he does exactly what the Combine Advisors tell him to do.

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  • [–] 60 points 1 week ago (9 children)

    I’ll tell my boss that I’m also recessing early so I don’t have to deal with a nasty server migration that’s coming. I’ll take two months vacation. Let’s see what he says.

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  • [–] 25 points 1 week ago (7 children)

    Why not three months like McConnell?

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  • [–] 31 points 1 week ago (6 children)

    Um, he had a good reason for that…

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  • [–] 35 points 1 week ago

    Mike Johnson is a bitch and has committed treason several times at this point.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 week ago

    What a traitorous, sniveling little bitch. Nothing new though ¯\(ツ)/¯

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  • This is also an effort to prevent the passing of the Epstein Files Transparancy Act 2.

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  • he is such a scumbag

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  • [–] 0 points 1 week ago

    Better have an incompetent war monger than a competent one

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