all 24 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 3 points 9 hours ago

Pepper Spray.

  • source
  • [–] 2 points 9 hours ago

    Finding the little communities like folk punk, just as an example, can be really really helpful. Yes, there will be CIS men at a folk punk festival or concert, but they won't be ogling people and they most likely won't be chasers.

    That kind of small community polices itself fairly well when it comes to creeps. And although no community is pure and good when a smaller community finds one of those types of people, it's much easier to push them out. So fewer people try the bullshit.

  • source
  • [–] 24 points 1 day ago* (3 children)

    Cis here but, intimidating accessories. Since I started wearing a pocket belt, people just don't. What's in those pockets? You don't know.

    Cool folks compliment the belt. Shitty folks think I'm not worth the trouble or maybe a cop.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 8 hours ago (2 children)

    May I ask what a pocket belt is? Is that like a waist pouch or a Fanny pack?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 7 hours ago

    It's like a fanny pack/bum bag, but it usually has multiple pockets spread on the belt, usually to the sides so one can sit comfortably. It looks more like a tradesman's toolbelt or a cop's belt than a fanny pack.

    I'll attempt a pic

  • source
  • parent
  • Pretending you didn't hear them often helps. Not always, sometimes they're right stubborn about it but I've been wolf whistled and received some truly odd comments and just not even glanced their direction and most of them do not bother to follow up. They're looking for a reaction. Don't make it easy for them

    Hell, one time I was out with a group, and they were talking to some kids and they asked if I was a boy or a girl and I straight up ignored them and let the group answer for me. Didn't even open my mouth. A little scary but I loved the results honestly.

  • source
  • [–] 29 points 1 day ago (6 children)

    Warning: These are not good tips, but they can help if you just want a chill moment.

    Dress down - don’t accentuate your body

    Prefer spaces with more women than men

    Prefer nerdy spaces - as much as it is a cliche the place I had the least attention were engineering classes, even if I was close to the only woman in there

    Loudly and randomly proclaim that “your boyfriend… something-something”

    It gets better when you are older

  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 32 points 1 day ago (3 children)

    The worst part about the "It gets better when you get older" is that I know damn well that shit starts at like 12 for cis women.

    Men can be such fucking pigs.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    Older like 50. And it's not "12 for cis women" it's "12 for people cis men think can take a dick", which includes plenty of trans girs.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 9 hours ago*

    You know you're not wrong, its just always felt like a different flavor.

    Maybe no one cat-called me, but they certainly started the prison r*** jokes real early.

    Also the only thing worse than being told that it stopped for someone at fifty, are the women who I've heard say it stops/slows down by like 22/23.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 19 points 1 day ago

    To quote Mafuyu: "Men are gross."

    The unfortunate truth is, no matter what one does, no matter what one says, no matter your proximity or lack thereof to the person, not exclusively men(I think back to a girl who was my "friend"(debatable) who fetishized me to high hell) but certainly a large relative proportion, one will catch someone's eye and the unfortunate attention thereof. Especially from self-described incels.

    While it is trite to say "ignore it," the reality is that treating them as the gross folks they are and living your best life is the best remedy, as they are not going to change no matter how much you bend over backwards, so it is best to just stand tall and when they try to be gross, tell them to fuck off.

    I am reminded of this song, which while not wholly relevant you did mention in a comment specifically chasers(bastard scumbag pigs..) so you might enjoy the song if you have not heard it before: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsG5PThdZfE

  • source
  • [–] 25 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    i wish i did... this might be a good question for c/womensstuff, but im sure the comments would become a battleground.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 7 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    I do this when I am at a cruising sauna I sometimes go to:

    If people touch me there without consent or give me too much attention, I act a little psycho. Things like "If you like your fingers so much on my skin, can I keep them? No nerd for the rest" are quite common to hear.

    Bonus points if you carry a pair of garden sheers with traces of red and brown nail polish on them that you can pull out!

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 15 points 1 day ago

    The problem I have with that, is that threatening violence with an object is one of the grounds that someone can use to file a protective order and drag you into court.

    I would be extremely careful doing that especially in a public place because if they get vindictive it becomes a huge legal hassle and they would have witnesses. In the USA you can't ask for a public defender because it's not a criminal case.

    Just passing this along for safety information. Thank you for sharing what you did, I think it's cool that there are places like that to seek adventures.

    💜

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 3 points 1 day ago (4 children)

    Apologies if this is offensive for trans folk, I'm quite clueless, but If a man is misogynistic enough to harass a woman, then they're almost certainly transphobic enough to be entirely put off by "I have a dick."

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 35 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    in my experience you are correct, but there's a significant chance they'll react violently rather than just giving up and walking away.

    also a surprisingly high percentage will not care and even double down (and occasionally you find these creeps intentionally looking for trans women). this is common enough that we have a slang term for them, "chasers".

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment