We don't negotiate with the rapists

Ask you doctor if stoicism is right for you.

“Talk to yourself as you would to a friend”

I've never heard of this technique. The one CBT technique that I know is labeling your thoughts (according to the type of cognitive distortion) and countering them. If you do it long enough, your thinking is supposed to change. Changing any habit is difficult, though.

When I had friends we’d constantly insult each other.

Talk to yourself as you would to a friend

I prefer to be honest with myself. While I don't saddle my friends with my problems.

You could try needles or sounding or a cage. Kicks aren't the only option!

I’ve always heard talk to your inner child/talk to yourself with the compassion you’d show a child

Self-awareness is a good thing, but it’s also the bottom of the barrel when fishing for compliments. In therapy, specifically, the implied sentiment is, “Well, at least you know how fucked up you are.”

She’s making the comparison to the “pleasure to have in class” line, because it’s similar. If a teacher genuinely has good things to say about a student, it’s probably going to be more specific (i.e. – they were inquisitive, a quick study, made their peers laugh, etc). “Pleasure to have in class,” by contrast, is a generic compliment that doesn’t really say anything.

EDIT: Okay, so based on a few of the latest responses, I felt that I should clarify something. I don’t think people who use these phrases intend for them to be insults or demeaning in any way—this includes Cait’s therapist in the original post. It’s just that it can be perceived that way, which is what I think the post was making fun of.

If you’re also an introspective, self-critical person, please don’t take someone saying this to you as an affirmation of your faults. It’s almost certainly an innocuous and genuine observation.

As a psychotherapist, working with people who are self-aware is a pleasure. I wouldn't ever say that to someone if not meant as a genuine compliment.

Although I believe not many of our patients actually are as self aware as they think. I think we as humans often are good in introspection where it's easy and comfortable to do so, while glaring over pretty blatant cognitive errors in some other parts, and this is usually where problems arise and disorders develop. And interestingly some people seem to think of themselves as someone who's perfectly introspective but just for some external, unchangeable factor immune to any kind of positive change. Maybe they could feel irritated about the compliment, because in their minds it reinfoces their idea of being helpless against their problems (in the sense of: I already know everything, it's just not possible to change anything or I would've already done that)? I could imagine that's how I would feel, but of course it's just a guess.

It can be, though quite often anxiety can manifest as being too self-aware all the time, to the point that it's getting in the way of actually enjoying life.

"You're very self-aware" is basically a meme in the corners of the internet that discuss trauma. It's a genuine compliment on the part of the therapist, but also an implied admission that they won't be able to help you.

You're already aware of the observations they would make and the tools they would propose, so you might as well skip to the end and look for another therapist.

My understanding is that it’s the best method we have at the moment, but might still be ineffective for as much as half of all patients who undergo it.

So, yeah, it kind of sucks, but no other intervention has a better body of evidence behind it. Our understanding of mental illness is unfortunately just very limited.

It depends if you're really into it. Personally I don't like my testicles being hurt.

Is there actual evidence that CBT actually works?

Yes! In fact, that's its biggest selling point. It's an evidence-based therapy.

Just go on google scholar, type in "CBT meta analysis" and read the results