Refusing to abandon his yachts or the medical career that paid for them, [...] Fischer was arrested after US Marshals boarded his 56-foot vessel, The Silver Lining, as it sailed down New York’s East River.

The Onion qualities don't stop there

Literally in the first paragraph:

...hid out in one of the places you’d most expect — the corner office of a Big Pharma company.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume he's white and wealthy/connected.

*Edit: I should probably just read the damn article before jumping to conclusions but the "raping women on his yachts" part seems to back this suspicion up.

With so much connected, online, cameras everywhere, one would think it wouldn't be possible to hide like this, let alone in broad daylight.

The Internet in 2005 was very different plus he’s very rich

These elites have some bad apples, huh?

I think at a certain level (i.e. "this guy is going to make us millions of dollars and my buddy plays pickleball with him") those checks are probably waived.

Like many other things go these days, the experience is completely different if you're in the club.

Yeah, he stopped getting off on raping just one or two people at a time so he became a big pharma executive so he can rape tens of thousands to millions with each decision.

Remember seeing that cancer pill that costs under $1 in other countries and like $800+ each in the US? That's one of his.

Yes. I was confused too. 😆

21.5 years even