this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
931 points (97.3% liked)

Programmer Humor

32549 readers
493 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 99 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Me burning to death fixing pylint warnings before I can commit my code.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Melting because someone didn't configure the right profile and now isort and black are fighting over imports.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Why is the wrong version always the one that is posted.

The (in my eyes) correct (and iirc original) version is:

  • Git commit
  • Git push
  • Get out*

*as someone pointed out (and I remember it as well, but thought I rembered it wrong and corrected it, shame on me in this context) the last point may be originally "git out"

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

i might remember it wrong...but was it not 'git out'?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Here git out is mentioned

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

That is so much better 👍

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Here at Company Inc, we continue to send our thoughts and prayers to the 38 interns who perished in the office fire of '07. Sixteen years later, we still mourn the loss caused by this unpredictable, unpreventable, and unlitigatable accident. We hope that, in time, the grieving families of those interns are eventually able to move on with both their hearts and their loved ones' funeral expense debts.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Should've pulled first before starting your work.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Sometimes my work takes a while and other people push in the meantime. Guess I'm dying the fire.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

On a push? What are you merging there?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ofc, you might be working directly on develop/master/shared branch, I know people that work in those environments (ew)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Right, on shared branch you might need to pull first if you're out of date (and you would be if you're all leaving the office at the same time), and that could cause a merge conflict.

It's like I always said, bad branching strategies are a fire safety issue.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

i read a reddit post years ago where a someone wrote a script that iterates through all the projects in their dev folder, for each project creating a new branch, committing and pushing.

they then aliased it to "fire" or "panic" or something like that.

not a bad idea really

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As in one they'd manually run if there was a fire?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Exactly. The alias just points to the script which is executed.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ohh I see so you just run git fire?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

if its aliased you should be able to just run "fire" and it does the rest

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Oh bash alias right

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Slight correction. In case of fire:

Git checkout -b firemyusername Git commit -am="fire" Git push.

We don't want to have conflicts with code versions when going in on a rush, better to create a new branch. We can merge all the conflicts afterwards.

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cause of death: 15 minute long pre-push hook

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just

git add . && git commit -m "sorry theres a fire" && git push -u origin feature/fire

And run out. It will eventually finish pushing. Or not.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

In case of

Git commit

Git push origin main --force

Fire

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

*git -tf out

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

"I followed the rules, Boss. Not my fault the rules are stupid 🤷‍♂️"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Counterpoint: Virtualized environment/remote desktop. The real computer is in a data center hundreds of kilometers away with world class fire suppression systems.

Counter counterpoint: If you're virtualized you might be working from home, in which case, that's rough, hope they manage to restore your house.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With a laggy desktop experience i also can't really configure how i want? No thank you. It's bad enough i have to use Windows for software development instead of letting me install Linux

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I like it because I don't have any of the company's shit on my own machine. I absolutely don't trust them not to spy on my personal computer use if they had access to it. With remote desktop I close it at the end of the work say and it has no more access to my computer than I have access to their critical systems.

In my case, their shit that we're required to use don't even support Linux so if it wasn't for virtualized environment I'd had to install Windows on my own machine.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Mark this shit NSFW. I could have viewed it at work.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

And if your git repo is self-hosted on-prem, you'd better be helping pack it and carry it out.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

no changes added to commit (use "git add" and/or "git commit -a")

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It should (at least) be:

git commit -a -m "🚨🔥🚨"
git push --force

Better, create a new branch and push it to origin(?).

Relevant The IT Crowd

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Better have not created any new files tho - git commit -a doesn't catch those without an add first.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I've got something similar on my office door that reads

In case of fire git commit -a git push git -tf out

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

First, git checkout -b omgFire, then do the rest.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

This is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Anyway any of you ever heard of ACID? Why aren't our undo buffers durable and integrated with version control? Squash and forget the individual keystrokes as soon as an actual commit is made.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If the flames are nearby I would be so reckless and execute git push --force.
I don't want to die for a merge conflict.
But maybe then the team will burn me later.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Sorry to be that guy but I don't think it's smart to put this anywhere in public, keep this shit somewhere private as a joke

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Commit message: It's lit🔥🔥🔥

load more comments
view more: next ›