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[–] 178 points 3 months ago* (36 children)

I don’t think most women wanted to be pregnant back to back like that then.

My grandmother had 16 children. It destroyed her.

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  • [–] 146 points 3 months ago (30 children)

    I'm a tenth child and my mom did it of her own volition. It was like being a dog that nobody wanted to take care of.

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  • [–] 122 points 3 months ago* (28 children)

    I'm sorry you were forced to be in that position.

    My dad was number 14. He was once asked for advice by a man who had several children already and wanted more. My dad's advice?

    "Stop."

    My dad went on to explain that this guy was already neglecting his current children and that it was abuse to continue. Because there simply isn't enough time and resources available.

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  • [–] 83 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (10 children)

    My oldest sister wanted to do the same. My brother in law got a vasectomy in secret after the 7th. Everything your dad said is exactly true.

    Edit: I don't mean to imply that some women aren't forced into the position of having more kids than they want. But usually having a lot of kids requires two mentally unwell religious fundamentalists.

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  • [–] 19 points 3 months ago* (9 children)

    Oh you're totally right that there's people who willingly do this as well! Thankfully we have more choices when it comes to how many children we want these days.

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  • [–] 13 points 3 months ago (8 children)

    tell that to any woman in the use asking to be sterilized, crazy the hoops you have to jump through, our outlook is so ass backwards

    and I imagine in a controlling relationship, birth control would be hard to hide

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  • [–] 19 points 3 months ago* (15 children)

    Maybe it's just cuz I've got a neurospicy bean who is AuDHD and PDA af, but I do not understand how people can have more than a couple kids. Hell, my wife is the oldest of 5 and it's crazy how much abuse I now see they all endured (both neglect and actual SA abuse of the youngest ones that wasn't brought to light until a few years ago).

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  • [–] 10 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    often it's just the lack of contraception and/or appropriate education.

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  • [–] 11 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    No, some people get a thrill out of the power of making more people, of having a huge family, even if they don't take good care of them.

    I personally don't get it. But I have a friend who is a really incompetent person - when we hang out, we have to make extra sure she doesn't do dangerous things like she is a child. She is a sweet person, but very oblivious in a way that is hard to put a pin on. She is married, and her husband takes care of her and has always seemed to kind of like the responsibility. To each their own. But they now have 2 kids and he is completely overwhelmed. But she wants more and keeps talking about trying to talk him into it or 'oops' getting pregnant again in a few years. We all yell at her when she says stuff like that.

    It is the perfect flip-flop of the usual gender roles - where Dad has all the responsibility and doesn't want more, and Mom just sees it as some kind of power trip about her self image and is oblivious or just doesn't care that it would break her partner.

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    [–] 108 points 3 months ago (16 children)

    They needed workers. Not pictured is the shallow grave out back for the 4 that got the rickets

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  • [–] 56 points 3 months ago* (12 children)

    And the "orphan train" already passed by, so it's not pictured either. Or the "for sale" signs when the children became too many. But the chimney sweep kids are "living it up", as they're learning an important trade!

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  • [–] 28 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (11 children)

    But the chimney sweep kids are “living it up”, as they’re learning an important trade!

    The cancers those chimney sweep kids got were horrific. Last Podcast on the Left recently did a deep dive into chimney sweeps and it was eye-opening. Highly recommend listening if you're into that kind of thing.

    I was just recommending a podcast episode lol

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  • [–] 19 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    Sorry, sorry... that was sarcasm. It was mostly slavery of orphans, guised as trade-skills. As well as the cancers, they also had hellish injury/death, because ya know... 7 year olds are climbing chimneys

    "Put their feet to the fire"... sometimes kids were too afraid to keep climbing, so they lit a fire under them. Sometimes, they became too grown and got stuck in the chimney, possibly dying. Hellish

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    [–] 65 points 3 months ago (5 children)

    The food bill for those kids today would be pretty close to the median gross income in USA.

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  • [–] 30 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    Good thing that the father has a stable job at the gas station to support his family.

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  • [–] 17 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Or they owned a farm, and 7 or 8 of those kids are already doing significant amounts of farm labor to earn their food. The economics of having tons of kids is radically different when they go from being a cost to a profit in 8ish years instead of from a cost to not a budget item in hopefully 22 if you're lucky.

    The US school calendar was based on the realities of this. So was the election schedule, voting on a Tuesday aligns neatly with the schedules of farmers bringing goods to the nearest town for market.

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    [–] 49 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    I had the fortunate experience of growing up with great-grandparents living, as well as some of their siblings. I got to hear first-hand experiences from 3 generations of women (mother, grandmothers, and two great-grandmothers plus various aunts sprinkled in). It was invaluable for me. Knowing their life stories and the truth of what they endured has helped me navigate life in so many ways.

    It also has been incredible armor against the flood of misplaced nostalgia and outright manipulation of history that seems so prevelant. My great-grandmother was born in 1908 and died in 2002. She left her abusive husband in the 1930s and raised her kids as a single mom in a time when it was exponentially more difficult to do so. Glad she got out when she did with 4 instead of 14...

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  • [–] 23 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    When I hear of the women in the victorian times who worked as sex workers to get by, got hacked into pieces by Jack the Ripper and no one batted an eye when they heard a woman screaming as that's just what London was like at the time....

    ... I know there's a lot of unwritten history that wildly deviates from the conservative mindset, and always has.

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  • [–] 44 points 3 months ago (5 children)

    If you teach women about their bodies and give them the choice, they will have fewer children.

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  • [–] 37 points 3 months ago (7 children)

    Before modern medicine, often people would have a ton of kids because they would frequently die.

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  • [–] 25 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    Before modern medicine, often people would have a ton of kids because they would frequently die.

    Before modern medicine, birth control and abortions were much harder to come by, too.

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    [–] 31 points 3 months ago (20 children)

    God that poor woman. That's so many kids.

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    [–] 29 points 3 months ago (8 children)

    Being fair to women back then, most of them didn't know how sex and babies worked, lacked any sort of formal education besides knowing how to read and write, and were raised that disagreeing with your husband or saying no to him in the bedroom was how to wind up an old spinster, the worst fate for any woman.

    "Honey, if I knew what was causing it, I would never have had more than two."

    -My great grandma, mother of 12

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  • [–] 23 points 3 months ago (6 children)

    They legitimately didn't understand that sex resulted in pregnancy?

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  • [–] 12 points 3 months ago

    Not until after menopause. She was born in the rural US American south some time in the 1920s (the date is known, I just forget). She grew up during the great depression, never went to school, only knew what she learned from her mother, who lived the same way, and only socialized with other women at church, who also lived and grew up the same way. She could read and count well enough to follow a recipe and write enough to leave her husband a note, but that was about it. She was raised to believe that if she said no to her husband in the bedroom, he would divorce her, word would spread around town that she wasn't a "good woman" and she would end up an old spinster, the worst thing a woman could possibly be.

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    [–] 25 points 3 months ago

    That's what happens when a wife is not allowed to say no and birth control doesn't exist. Could also represent having sex only 15 times over 16 years and getting pregnant every time. My grandmother swore all my grandfather needed to do was look at her and she was pregnant yet again.

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  • [–] 22 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    How many of those old kids were acting as parents because the folks were too busy fucking?

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    [–] 22 points 3 months ago

    They didn't think about it they just did it.

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  • [–] 17 points 3 months ago (5 children)
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    [–] 15 points 3 months ago

    That’s like 2 decades of pushing out kids.

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  • [–] 15 points 3 months ago (6 children)

    I came from a big family like that. My mother had 13 children and 11 of us survived long enough to get married and start our own families. Lost one sister to fibroids and another to gang violence.

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    [–] 15 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Grandma wasn’t thinking about sex, she was having it.

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    [–] 14 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    To be fair, I don't think grandma pumped out 252 children because she enjoyed the sex.

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  • [–] 18 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    My grandmother had her first child out of wedlock at the age of 14, her second child (my mom) out of wedlock with a different father at the age of 16, and her third child out of wedlock with yet another different father at the age of 17. And this was all in the 1930s. I strongly suspect grandma really enjoyed the sex -- otherwise, why go through all the social approbation and abandonment by her family that went along with it?

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    [–] 13 points 3 months ago

    My dad is 70 and he was the youngest of 14 kids…

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  • [–] 11 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    Grandma, you know better. Everyone was just as horny and kinky back then as they are today. You're STILL horny and kinky Grandma!

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