It's a joke. Their real method nowadays is just asking AI to generate bug free code and then using it without any validation

It's a joke, but the fact is that the diagnose button only searches event logs and windows system logs for errors against only a small dictionary of problems.

This is exactly why Microsoft has been playing with a locally installed nano AI driven fix it utility for future updates: the current one sucks.

edit link:

https://windowsforum.com/threads/revolutionizing-windows-troubleshooting-with-ai-powered-fix-it-button-in-windows-11.365216/

It's a joke: they'd never return a sensible exit code.

If it’s a joke, it’s not terribly far from the truth.

The Walmart shopping app does this, too. With a cart full of upwards of 200 items, (we shop infrequently, so the list is big by the time we do), it infuriates the hell out of my spouse and I. I won't even get into how random and haphazard the items are ordered (and it's not due to the order we selected things).

Last month Apple released their developer keynote (WWDC26) where they acknowledged their search function doesn't work well. Obviously they were saying it now because they were releasing a fix but it was comical to hear them essentially say "have you ever searched in mail or finder for something you know is there, and search just can't find it, yeah that shit happens to all of us" lol

AndI've seen a unicorn once.

It used to try resetting network adapters once upon a time. I guess they lost that code at some point.

I've had it stop/start the adapter and clear DNS cache before

I've also had it disable/enable sound drivers before.

For it to actually do anything, it has to either be a clear local networking issue or show up exactly as the right type of hardware failure where you can still get to the device and it responds, but it's not doing it's job.

That might actually be useful... Maybe if it auto-ran SFC /scannow or something?

Quickly? 50,000 seconds is 13 hours, 53 minutes and 20 seconds

edit: aaahhh. ms not s. stupid windows

Na that won't work, it's carriage return, then new line. Otherwise it's not a line break, just just a line suggestion.