Swords The Webcomic | Bluesky

Transcript Image 14 Panel Comic with title banner across the middle

Title Banner: Choose Your Weapon

1: A sword that is stronger the more books you have read [A golden curved sword with a hole in the middle, a brain sits on the back of the sword, the handle is the brainstem. Lighting crackles around the brain. Loose pages are seen just off frame. Barely visible in the background is β€œ42”, β€œLXIX”, β€œ33”, β€œM”, β€œXLII”]

2: A sword that is stronger the more lies the opponent has told you [The sword resembles Pinocchio, his body stretched out like Superman. His nose spirals out from his face like a whip.]

3: A sword that is stronger the further you are from home. [A large grey beaten up single sided sword with a hole in the middle. A brown backpack hangs from the hole. There are several bumper stickers on the sword, two read β€œLake Tang” and β€œSWRD”.]

4: A sword that is stronger the more your back hurts. [A sword so massive it doesn’t fit in frame. Energy bursts from the blade]

Footer text: Episode CMXLV Β© 2018-2025 ~ MATTHEW J WILLS ~ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED THE USE OF THIS IMAGE TO TRAIN LARGE LANGUAGE MODELS IS PROHIBITED

@SWORDSCOMIC

Transcript Image 24 Panel Comic

1: Choose Your Cursed Sword

2: Curse where every third word you say is an antonym [A sword with a blade that resembles a purple and slightly silver tongue curls outward. The cross guard resembles a lower jaw with teeth. The handle is pink with pink stripes wrapping it and a black pommel]

3: Curse where you can only see through the eyes of people who can currently see you. [A orange elvish-looking blade, long with a narrow base like a waist, with a white chevron across the middle and a white stripe across the cross guard. The pommel is a safety cone.]

4: Curse of smelling smells from three minutes in the future. [Sword with a blade that resembles a long nose with too many holes. The cross guard is the nostrils with teeth below it and a tongue for the handle.]

Footer text: EPISODE MIII Β© 2018-2026 ~ MATTHEW J WILLS ~ MADE IN NZ ~ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED THE USE OF THIS IMAGE TO TRAIN LARGE LANGUAGE MODELS IS PROHIBITED

@SWORDSCOMIC

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 56 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The last sword is more of a superpower than a curse

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Knowing something about the future three minutes in advance.

    I wonder if three minutes is enough to profit a lot off of day trading stocks. One smell, the stock is going up. Another one, it's going down.... but three minutes isn't long.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 23 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Theoretically you can use it to communicate with past you so yes, definitely. Smell lavender, stocks are going up. Smell shit from a butt, they shat the bed.

    And 3 minutes is plenty with leverage!

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago

    I was thinking more of something like smelling smoke 3 minutes before a fire, smelling burnt stuff before a missile strike, smelling a ferocious animal before it approaches, smelling a gas leakage before it happens, etc

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago* (1 child)

    My wife has this β€œsuperpower”. It’s only useful is rare circumstances. Most of the time it’s a curse.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 28 points 1 month ago
    [–] [S] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Obviously I’m picking the back pain sword, tho the book sword is a close second pick for me.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Book sword seems an easy pick assuming the scaling of the power ups is remotely similar - if you're an educated adult you should already have a decent power level, its strength isn't going to vary wildly on you (lies would be particularly bad for this), you can have a strong sword without living in pain, and if you need extra power you can just smash through a bunch of childrens books in a few hours.

    In terms of the curse sword smells from the future seems the pick. Changing every third word would cause a lot of communication annoyances and seeing only through other people's eyes would make you blind a significant amount of the time.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 12 points 1 month ago (9 children)

    How is smelling smells three minutes into the future a curse?

    I mean if it works similar to other time powers like seeing into the future, that future would be preventable.

    Smelling the future and acting to it seems like pretty awesome, and three minutes is pretty long... You have enough time to act and escape you death maybe, if you suddenly don't smell anything anymore... Or you can make sure that you only eat the best food available... Since tasting food is mostly about smells... You could become an awesome cook... you just have to deal with the five tongue senses...

  • source
  • hideshow 10 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    I think the smells from 3 minutes in the future would be full of paradoxes if you try and use it to game the system.

    You smell your toast burning, so you pop the toaster early, now theres no toast to burn. But you still smelled the toast burning, so now youre just having a stroke.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago

    More like you can never actually act on the information without creating a time paradox. So if stop the toast burning it actually means your house is on fire instead. You prevent yourself from shitting your pants, but the toilet explodes the moment you sit down.

  • source
  • parent
  • load more comments (8 replies)
    [–] 12 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    The only see through eye that can see you curse can be a blessing. Ask any blind / nearly blind person.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    it makes you blind when you are alone, though. the only one not actually cursed is the smell one. might even be an advantage

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    No it doesn't make you blind if you blind by default. It is only an upgrade from not being able to see :D.
    And you can always carry a pocket lizard with you :D

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Yeah you're right, it would be an upgrade for blind people, but still a curse for anyone else. And I don't think the lizard would work, as it says you can see through the eyes of people who can see you.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 1 month ago

    I'm fucking OP with the traveller's sword.

  • source
  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    The seeing through someone else’s eyes would make you a poker god.

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    You'd never know what your own hand is unless someone cheats.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • load more comments (2 replies)
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 6 points 1 month ago

    Dual-wield book and back pain sword. My back hurts from hunching over too many books.

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago*

    3: worthless because home is where I am.

    4 though...

  • source
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    do audiobooks count at all for the brain sword?

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 5 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Gimme the first sword and I'll do god-tier damage.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 5 points 1 month ago

    If you're homeless does that make sword #3 insanely powerful or insanely weak?

  • source
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago
    [–] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    As a mechanic, this is an easy one.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • load more comments (2 replies)
    [–] 2 points 1 month ago

    Sun Tzu hates the #2.

  • source
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago*

    I threw my back out last night so I'll take that 4th one right now. Normally I'd take the 1st though.

    Edit: on reflection I'll take the "books read" one anyway because no sword in the world is awesome enough that I'm gonna be swinging it in combat with crippling back pain.

  • source
  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago

    The first one is anything that scales off INT in a Fromsoft game.

  • source
  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago

    I grew up with the internet, and even tho i read a lot, i am very sure that the sword of lies would be the most powerful, especially since my back pain that i had since i was a teenager is currently gone thanks to a very motivated physiotherapist.

  • source
  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago*

    I could probably carry out an assassination with that second sword but I'm probably going to get more utility out of the back pain sword.

    As for curses, smells is probably least harmful and easier to game but I'm pretty sure it'd annoy me a lot while I'm cooking.

    I think I'm going to genie interpret that second curse about seeing through eyes... as in, your onlookers eyes lose opacity the longer they're watching you. Sure, it'll feel a bit like the unpatched release of Assassin's Creed Unity, but I'd get used to it and it'll let me know who's giving me a glance.

  • source
  • load more comments
    view more: next β€Ί