Clean your car before whatever is growing in it becomes sentient.

Weird. I only drink black and this has never happened to me. Not sure why you're getting the short end of the stick

OP went to McDonald's (it reads McCafé, and the colours are right) and is trash talking minimum wage employees because he couldn't be fucked to be clear in communication, and likely couldn't offer a modicum of respect for the employees.

Your expectations are way too high for McDonald's. They are not baristas, and most importantly, they are most likely teenagers. It's not impossible you accidentally got someone else's coffee, too. Shit happens. Stop being a child about it, and politely ask to switch it out.

OP, you have issues. Also, your car is fucking disgusting, I feel bad for whatever mechanic has to work on it. Start with that, you have bigger problems in life.

Edit: lmao OP is salty and has no introspection abilities

Lol your dirty cupholder is also mildly infuriating.

everytime I tell people that "baristas" and coffee people can't comprehend the concept of black coffee, I get back talk.

Back talk. As in talking back.

Translation: When I tell you shit, you either agree with the truth I speak, or you shut the fuck up.

Stars forbid anyone fucking disagree with you and speak their fucking minds. Conversations are one way with you: from you to everyone else.

Clean your car

I have never once had a problem with "coffee, black". Doing more would require extra work, you're telling me someone went out of their way to put a little cream in your coffee?

At most you were perhaps given the wrong order.

OP is more infuriating than the post lol

Whatever lives in your car probably infected the coffee. The coffee is the least gross part in this photo.

Looks like hot water with a brown crayon in it.

"Baristas don't know how to make extremely popular and simple drink" has always been a dumb take.

Huh, where I'm from, when you order a simple coffee you'll always get it black and then there is a little station where you can add milk, sugar, creamer yourself and the lids are also at that station. You'll only get it 'pre mixed' when you order a coffee specialty like Latte or Cappuccino.

Also in my personal opinion, from a good espresso machine, percolator or even French press I like a black coffee once in a while, but drip filter coffee is only palatable with milk. Sometimes not even then.

Can I get a black coffee?

So, like, less sweet?

No, just black coffee

Any creamer?

No, just black coffee

Want me to save some space in the cup for your own creamer?

No, just fill my cup up all the way with black coffee

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such frustrating experiences with coffee. I wonder if my experience could help you in navigating your experience.

When I order coffee I always see how they do it.

I don’t do it to complain. In fact, even if they get my order wrong I rarely ask for a change, because whatever they give me is usually alright.

I see how they do it because I’m curious. I like to know what their process is like. I like to know what machines they use. I like to know how they organize work in the coffee shop. I like to see their technique.

Because of this curiosity, I usually understand quite well why my coffee ends up the way it does.

Yes, I am a customer. Yes, I could insist that my drink has to be different. But I prefer to accept that life is unpredictable and that we are all human. And it’s usually alright.

Here’s a video that could help: https://youtu.be/OXbQx2hfA5k

This problem seems to unique to you. What exact words did you use? I only drink black coffee, and in the decades I've ordered it from myriad coffeeshops, there has been a single time that I received a coffee with cream on it - and that was because I ordered a "regular" at Café Du Monde, which the menu clearly states is cafe au lait, so I quickly learned that it was entirely my own fault for not paying attention and not using amply descriptive words to communicate my desires.

I'll always add ".... No creme or milk please" after asking for it black, I know it's the same thing twice but it twigs a 'could this guy have a milk allergy' thought now and again.

You need professional help, everything about this thread screams that.