Details of the 14-point agreement revealed as senior US officials claim ‘major win’ despite significant concessions to Tehran

Donald Trump has signed a 14-point agreement with Iran, claiming it delivered a “major win” for the United States – even as it made significant political and financial concessions to Iran to reopen the strait of Hormuz and prevent a “worldwide depression”.

In extraordinary remarks on Wednesday, Donald Trump went from threatening Iran with a new wave of attacks to suggesting the country had basic rights to enrich uranium for civilian use, that he would not pressure Tehran to abandon its ballistic missiles programme and the US was “going to have to give back” billions of dollars in frozen Iranian assets.

Those remarks, as well as the full text of the agreement – which was hailed by the Hezbollah chief, Naim Qassem, as a “great victory” – are likely to fuel anger in Israel and among hardliners in the Republican party who had urged Trump not to make a deal with Tehran.

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[–] 141 points 2 months ago (11 children)

Listening to him pat himself on the back for solving a problem he fucking created, is absolutely infuriating.

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  • [–] 33 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    Not to mention: I’m guessing part of the motive here is that someone finally dumbed down the concept of “the Strategic Petroleum Reserve is going to be GONE in mid-July” enough for him to somewhat understand it

    But also, given how complex and convoluted international supply chains are, and how many products and goods are impacted directly and indirectly by petroleum supply shocks, I rather doubt we’re fully dodging the economic bullet that’s coming in the next few months.

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  • [–] 15 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    Don't forget the fertilizer we couldn't get on the ground.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 months ago* (3 children)

    lol yep - it’s gonna be a wild ride when we start having food shortages in the US. And I am not sure it can be avoided at this point.

    Edit: and that assumes that Israel isn’t going to once again spike the deal by continuing to bomb the shit out of Lebanon

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  • [–] 68 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Hes still in office. The world is still depressed.

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  • [–] 52 points 2 months ago

    Was it the Swedes who said something to the effect of “We aren’t going to reward someone who brings a bucket to extinguish the fire they started.”

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  • [–] 33 points 2 months ago

    Trump dying would surely cure my depression a little bit.

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  • [–] 27 points 2 months ago (3 children)
    1. Create problem
    2. Solve that problem
    3. ?????
    4. Profit.
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    [–] 21 points 2 months ago* (1 child)

    Try not to sprain your wrist jerking yourself off, Donald.

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  • [–] 21 points 2 months ago

    Someone should depress his skull with a small lead object.

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  • [–] 21 points 2 months ago

    Damn, a few more oopsies like this and he’ll be half as bad as wearing a tan suit or eating Dijon mustard… could you imagine?!?

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  • [–] 21 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    deal avoids world wide depression

    A fucking depression that YOU started you fat orange fuck

    I'm not an American and in principle I don't give many fucks about what idiots in other countries vote for to be their next leader but the US is a fucked up place with world wide reaching tentacles and whatever they do always ends up with consequences for the entire fucking world

    Can you PLEASE already get rid of trump?

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago

    Been trying. Fucker keeps cheating at elections. Over the last 30 years, our government has slowly been purchased by private interests to the point where we can only investigate made up claims of election interference instead of actually real and viable ones. It's maddening, as our system no longer works, and there's literally no uncorrupted mechanism by which we can fix it.

    As bad as the US is making the rest of the world, I assure you it's worse inside the states. And getting worse by the month.

    The problem is very much a self correcting one though, as Orangalf Shitler is in incredibly poor health. To the point where he hasn't golfed since May. And the bloated sun baked bigmac usually spends every weekend golfing.

    This bullshit dies with him, as the propaganda machine tied itself to his personality instead of manufacturing consent. Without his personality, even MAGA cultists will no longer consent to billionaires turning us all into well monitored and domesticated capital, milked daily for the oligarchs.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 child)

    Peace plan? Is that what mainstream media is trying to spin it? More like a 'I-Fucked-Up-And-I-Chickened-Out

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  • [–] 18 points 2 months ago

    Autopen signature.

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  • [–] 16 points 2 months ago
    • cause crisis
    • manipulate market several times
    • deliver solution which is worse than before the crisis

    Good job!

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  • [–] 16 points 2 months ago

    deal averts ‘worldwide depression’

    Um. Isn't it more like "deal tries to end US-inflicted downward trend towards worldwide depression"?

    This is how you lie while technically telling the truth.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 11 points 2 months ago

    Arsonist saves building he burned down.

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  • [+] 11 points 2 months ago* (5 children)
  • [–] 14 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    Trumps an asshole, a rapist, and deserves to suffer, but let’s not use slurs

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (2 children)

    Like removed? I genuinely have no idea what was said

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  • [–] 10 points 2 months ago

    So Iran has now the Epstein files

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Why don't we all thank the president from preventing the ninth war of his year long administration?

    And put on a suit for christs sake

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago

    The real worldwide depression is the fact that this fucker hasn't died yet.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 months ago

    Someone needs to mash this up with Donvict's mug...

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago*
    [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    To late for that.

    Aside from data center construction, we are already in a recession and as soon as that AI bubble pops....

    https://www.wheresyoured.at/exclusive-openai-financials/

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)